Time for bravery

Chapter 1 - Trying

"Make it Stop Eileen! It's been going on for 4 minutes straight. Just wake up already."

And suddenly I had a pillow thrown to my head. Well, thanks for that Sophie. I started opening my eyes and decided it wasn't a good idea. So with my eyes still closed I reached for my phone and tapped a few times till the alarm stopped.

When I found the strength to open my eyes I spotted Sophie studying, already dressed and with a plate of toasts and scrambled eggs by her side.

Smiling because I already know the answer, I asked "¿Any chances you made breakfast for me too? "

"It's in the kitchen, although it will be cold by now. I don't understand how could you sleep at all today. I mean... IT IS TODAY! The beginning of everything. Aren't you excited Eileen? I remember perfectly my Calling and Revealing Ceremony. I didn't sleep at all that night." She always sounded so dramatic. 

As much as I loved Sophie I decided I needed some alone time so I got out of bed. As I was getting to the bathroom door she started to walk toward me giggling and almost jumping with happiness in every step until she pulled me into a tight hug. ¿How could someone be so awake this early in the morning? It's 7 o'clock. I will need a minimum of 2 more hours till my brain starts working. Sometimes I wonder how we can be related, we are literally complete opposites in every possible way.

Although Sophie is 2 years older than me my body is way curvier than hers. She is very thin, with a very athletic body and dark hair that matched her eyes. And well she is taller than me, but that's actually quite normal considering I'm 5'1. Instead, I have dark blue eyes, almost grey, and amber-ish tone of hair. Or so says my mum, sister, and brother's boyfriend who have a large variety of posh and complex names to distinguish every shade of color. For me, it's just dark blond. And that's another thing that really differentiated us, I'm not very girlish. I'm not a tomboy either. I'm just...me. 

Frankly, I find it odd how people keep expecting me to like something or expect certain things from me just because I was born with a vagina. My mum tried for a while when I was 6 to dress me with pretty dresses and make me nice bows, but stopped eventually when I kept bringing back torn or stained dresses and messy hair. Don't get me wrong I loved the bows, I used to get up early so she could do them to me. I just... had other priorities throughout the day that didn't help with maintaining my dress clean and my hair done.

"What colour do you think you will be?" she asks while still hugging me. "I think you will be a Blue, you've always been so brave. The first Blue in the family. ¿Could you imagine that?"

"Maybe." I say, not wanting to think about it. "I'm gonna jump into the shower, thanks for breakfast".

As I step into the shower I let my thoughts and emotions get to me. Pain, shame, frustration. "Okay maybe this was a bad idea" I think to myself trying to pull all those feelings to the back of my head again.

Well at least today everything will be out, it's hard to manage your feelings if you have to hide them all the time. I try to relax and enjoy the shower imagining a different life, a life where I was human and, instead of the Calling and Revealing Ceremony I just had to pick a career. ¿How nice would that be? I think I would probably have chosen psychology. I'm good with people and have always found it fascinating why we think and act the way we do, the motives, the drives... But it's just not the case I guess.

God I really hope that I'm wrong and that as Sophie said I am just a Blue. "Breath Eileen, breath. Lighst Reds are so rare, the odds of being a Red are almost nonexistent." Great and now I'm speaking to myself in third person bases. I really need to relax or I won't even make it to the kitchen.

I get out of the shower and get dressed in tight dark jeans, black boots and a formal purple blouse just because of the ceremony. When I arrived at the kitchen my whole family is there. "¿Hey hun, how did you sleep?" I look up and see my mum trying not to sound excited but failing.

"She slept like a log" Sophie answered.

"Well I'm glad because today is an important day, and you need to be ready" says my mum while bringing to mi sight some waffles with chocolate. "You know we will love you no matter what, ¿right? It's all the same to us." I can feel that she knows I won't be a Brown like all my family. But like I don't know how to answer to that, I just smile excitedly for the waffles.

Everyone was looking at me, like expecting something. I sit down in my chair and started eating waiting for someone to say something. Thankfully my big brother Fred starts mumbling something about his last job and how it was sabotaged by some dark wizards and cursing about how unfair it was that they had to do it during the night when Dark wizards were at their strongest. I look around and take it all in, I want to remember it just like this: Everyone at the table just talking and joking distractedly about anything that would come to our minds. If I return home like a Red, although I know that they will still have me, it won't ever be like this. Everyone thinks two ice before saying anything in front of a Red. They are known to be really powerful wizards, but also the most quick-tempered and rude. Tension appears whenever a Red enters a room.

I get up and while grabbing my jacket and my bag I say "Bye, see you at the ceremony"

"Hey, hey, hey, but there are 2 more hours till the ceremony!" my mum says with a sad concerned face.

"I know, but I agreed to hang out with Pey, Lucas, Rob, and the others before the ceremony."

"But today is such a special day for you.. and you will see them all at the party tonight, and then every day in the academy and..."

I cut her off before she makes me feel guilty "Mum, I will come straight home after the ceremony and we can celebrate while having lunch. ¿What about that?" I say while heading to the door and really hoping that indeed we will be celebrating. I wanted to spend time with my family but I also wanted to be with my friends. I was the one to propose that we meet earlier just in case that it was the last time I could be with them without being a Red, so I wanted to get there first and enjoy every single minute of it.

"Okay, okay, but not so fast, come here and give us a proper goodbye, it's not everyday that our little Eileen gets to know what she will become." I smile and hug her. And this time I pay attention to everything, my mom's soft but noticeable perfume, my dad's trumpets tie, my sister's enthusiasm and the loving stare my brother gives me when I'm already closing the door. As I start walking I feel more relaxed. As bad as everything goes today, it can't be that bad if I still get to go home to them, right?