Norray (Norman x ray) one shots

Let me help you

Y'all I'm finally writing more angst!
It's also a little bit of an au like things aren't the exact same but it  has the same plot
⚠️self harm, suicide attempt⚠️
-Rays p.o.v-

"I love you Emma" those were the last words I heard Norman say before he got 'adopted'

It's been a week I'm still in shock.

Emma hasn't been the same sense. She always looks so sad. She barely ever gets up to play with the kids. She's always just sitting there looking broken

As much as I hate to say it I loved him. He was my best friend.well I don't even know if I can say that

The only reason he ever talked to me was because he was a fucking simp for emma and she wanted us to be friends.

The last thing I heard him say was his confession to her. At this point most people would hate her.but I could never.

Especially now.

He's dead it doesn't matter who he liked!

Or that's what I try to tell myself

I still never hate Emma, Some times I might feel a little jealous but I only hate myself for not being good enough for him to love me.

Everyday I think 'if I ate less' 'if I was more reserved' 'maybe if I was nicer' ' if I wasn't such a selfish bitch and pushed him away'

Most of that shit sounds stupid to most I know that but to me it's slowly killing me.

I've always had horrible mental health but this is really just pushing me over the edge.

I learnt how to deal with most of the shit I've dealt with sense I was literally born but when Norman died it all just came back.

I was actually happy for a few weeks!

I even stopped cutting or like hating myself for eating to the point I almost puked back up every meal.

When mom found out I cut she started to hide all the knives and scissors but I wasn't an idiot and I found out how to take apart  pencil sharpeners pretty soon after.

I'm now standing in the mirror looking at my body almost crying.

The scars all over me look so ugly .

I learnt to never do it on your arms do it on your chest and inner thigh. No one will see there unless your sexuality active and my heart broken ass could never.

For the eating thing it's really not that bad. It's not like I'm actually doing anything. But my brain has just been programmed to not let me eat without constantly reminding me that I weigh more then anyone else here. When all you can think of is that it's hard to keep down your food

I try my best to pretend to be happy for the kids. I love my family so much and they seem so sad seeing Emma like this. That was the one thing that made me mad at her.

I know she's heartbroken or whatever the fuck is going on but she can at least try to pretend she's happy!

I probably sound like a dick head saying that but the amount of times I had to force myself to speak to the kids is discussing.