Texas & Gin | L. Friar

00. PREFACE

[ "Take it. Take this love from me, I don't want it. I can't have it."

'Why?' The wind whispered.

"Because it's wrong. Because he isn't mine." ]

Audrey knew it was wrong to feel this way, especially for her best friend who was clearly in love with someone else who was also a close friend. It was wrong to yearn him in the way that wasn't just friendly. It was wrong to fantasize about cuddling with him and coming home from a long day of work or school. It was wrong to hope he could ever feel the same.

It was wrong to expect him to. 

He didn't owe her anything. From his standpoint, they were just friends and Audrey was more than okay with that. 

But then, why does it feel as if there is a splinter in her heart each time she sees them laughing together? Why does her heart ache in her chest each time they hug, they touch? Why does it even matter if she wants to keep him to herself, away from anyone that might steal him away? 

Why was she in love with him?

When did it happen? What day was it? What time did she realized she didn't want to be 'just friends'? 

Audrey craved for morning cuddles and waking up next to each other and being the first thing they see. She yearned to have her hand in his, her heart in his palm. His eyes always on her. 

But it could never happen. 

Not when perfect Riley was making him smile, and laugh. Not when they glanced at each other as if it was the only thing that mattered. Not when they seemed so perfectly molded together. 

No matter how many times Lucas was there for Audrey, or the many times they've stayed up late talking or just watching movies. Or the time they experienced Lucas's first snow together. And the time he cried to her about his mama. No matter how much their souls were tied and bonded, Audrey could never take Lucas away from Riley. 

Because he wasn't hers in the first place. 

He never was.

( " who would i be, if i had not loved you. how would i know what love is? " )

But, maybe he could be.

[ alright so, this is most audrey's feelings that take form in the middle of the book. the first chapter will be up soon after this, but the preface was just meant to be like not an intro but a taste test i guess of the book? idk i tried.

y'all i really tried to write a preface. i did. i, however, am not as much of a good writer as i would like to be -- but this is for @katiebear04 who asked for an update and literally made my entire day. i love you stranger <3 first chapter is 5k+ so yes there will be a bit of a wait, however, i almost done with it. so stay tuned for that. 

as you can see, i am obsessed with words and quotes and have many journals filled with them so they will be included. sometimes i get inspired from a certain scene and it just reminds me of it so i write it in the chapter with italics or parentheses. 

in other words, hope y'all enjoy and pray for me as there is a like really horrible storm outside and am scared. 

<3 ]