♤Some Jack Kelly Headcanons♤

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(I'm working on way too much rn and I'm just gonna say it, Big Ed is a baby. He's also just an egg with legs, like Liz and Rose could do so much better...how has he been married and had two girlfriend's and yet, I'm still single and can actually turn my head...like he totally ruined the word baggies for me and he makes all Americans seem so spoiled rotten. Anyway, enjoy these happy Jack headcanons)

•This boy, Jack Kelly, absolutely refuses to eat Snyder's brand pretzels.

•The first time you brought them home he almost had an absolute melt down. He was totally convinced Snyder got out of jail and immediately started a pretzel company making poisonous pretzels in hopes he would eat some

•You were sure there was nothing you could say to change his mind, so you opened the bag and ate a handful. Only for Jack to completely freak out

•He immediately thought that you were dying and to make matters worse your time of the month started the very next day

•You've always had extremely bad cramps. Like if you take the normal cramping pain multiply it by 100, then give it an IV of coffee and drugs. (#totesnotprojection) Which didn't help your case at all

•Jack really did think you were dying. You tried to explain to him that it was just your period cramps, but he was having none of that

•He kept an extra careful eye on you for a month. Watching and waiting to see if anything else would happen. He took "precautionary safety measures".  They didn't really add a level of safety at all. Just made you annoyed....lots of annoyed

•He tried to keep you from going in the store and when he couldn't do that, had you steer clear of the aisle they were on. Which was okay, since it's not like you needed a bunch of other stuff from that aisle at all...

•It took him about two months, but he finally got over it and seemingly forgot about what happened.

•You, on the otherhand, have never touched those pretzels ever again. You've never even thought about bringing them home to eat.
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•Jack doesn't usually get nervous. It kinda cramps on his style and doesn't help to inflate his ego, so he just kinda....doesn't do it. But every so often, especially when it comes to you, he gets just a little bit nervous

•Just a little

•Like this 🤏 much

•You've come to realize that when this happens, he tends to look for comfort from something if he can't find you in the moment. That something is his hat

•You haven't really figured out why his hat is what he goes too. But you do know that he doesn't wear it all that much. Only in certain cases.

•For example:

•Asking you out
•Your First Date
•Your first Kiss
•Asking you to marry him
•Your actual wedding day (you didn't let him wear his hat, but saw him reach back for it a couple times out of habit)
And your personal favorite
•Going to see Spot

•That last one has always been a question for you. As in, was he nervous about not getting Brooklyn's support? Or was it more the creepy guy standing behind him?

•Once you noticed this little trend, you brought it up to him

•He immediately tried to deny it. But....he can't lie to you, so you immediately knew he was flubbing

•He made you promise that you wouldn't tell anyone. Something about his "reputation" and blah blah blah...
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(Since I kinda have a feeling this will be asked for)

•It took you a long time to plan your wedding. And you weren't going to let Jack turn it into a rodeo by wearing his hat

•Not to say you don't like his hat...you do, it makes him look hot ngl, but you also like it when he looks nice. And that look is more achievable when he's not wearing a hat

•Of course Jack was not thrilled to hear this news

•He begged and pleaded for you to let him wear his hat

•and you said













































•nu❤

•You totally ignored that his hat is his mechanism of quenching nerves and didn't think about what would happen if he didn't have it

•But, per your wishes, he went on ahead without it and here are the instances when he wishes he had it with him...

•He stood at the alter waiting very impatiently. What if you decided to run away? What if he fainted? What if he forgets to say "I do"?What if his pants fell down? Multiple times he reached back to grasp at his hat, only to find it...not there

•He tried to reach for it before saying his vows because he was so afraid he'd mess them up

•During your first dance together. He was nervous of many things. Stepping on your foot, going the wrong way, his pants falling down (his tightly belted pants might I add)

•and he was especially nervous when a slightly intoxicated Race announced he had a speech prepared. This one you understood very, very well. You quite enjoyed it. Jack










































Not so much

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