Callie Rose

Chapter 22

Callie Rose

I've never felt like this before.

I've felt a lot of things but I've never felt like this before.

     I'm seated inside on the couch, mindlessly letting the background noise that the turned-on TV offered give me a slight distraction from my wild-ridden thoughts. But no matter what I did to tune my mind out, my thoughts kept coming back in full force. And stronger than they ever did before.

 I gulp down the remaining contents of my cup, satisfied, and quietly wait for the stove to turn off, indicating that the meal I was preparing was ready to be eaten.

I was attempting on making some pasta, in truthfulness, I felt bad. Ever since I arrived here  Evan had been the one taking care of everything, cooking, cleaning... and I couldn't help but feel utterly useless lying around and being of no use whatsoever to him even though he had refused my request to help countless times.

After some persuasion, Evan agreed to let me handle dinner tonight, which I was happy about. I sighed feeling a bit content, At least I could finally be of use.

Well, that wasn't the only reason I had taken up the task of making tonight's meal.

In other truthfulness, I just felt bad.

And not for being useless. This other feeling was much more, excruciating, and more intense to go through.

In short, I was experiencing major anxiety and I had no Idea why.

 Well, now that wasn't true. I did know why I was feeling anxious, I just couldn't narrow the reason down to one specific thing.

It could be because by tomorrow I was to be in the hands of my parents, the people who scared me to death. Or because I was leaving the place that offered me so much happiness, or because I was about to leave the person that gave me so much happiness.

Or maybe because I was too afraid of how Evan would react when I told him I was leaving.

As the thought of leaving reached me my mood instantly soured. I couldn't even imagine what it was like before I got here even though it had been an insanely short time.

I would be leaving tomorrow, my father would be coming to get me tomorrow.

I still hadn't told Evan that I was leaving and I hated myself for it.

     In these past few days, what I thought would be a destruction of our relationship was the exact opposite, we had gotten so much closer. After talking with my parents it was almost like Evan had changed, his personality stayed the same as before around me but it intensified.

    The main goal was to distance myself from him, but that physically wasn't possible. I loved him too much for that to happen.

 And it might've been selfish of me to cause myself momentary happiness only so he could feel pain. It was so so selfish and I hated myself for that.

It was like the reality of me leaving had completely disappeared when we were together but now it had come back in full force and I was staring it right in the eye.

     I was going to have to tell him.

I was more afraid of what he would feel rather than what he would say, I could tell that he knew something was up and didn't want to talk about it but I had no idea how he was gonna react.

     I only hoped it wouldn't be as bad as I imagined it would be.

The automatic switch came off and the click pulled me out of my thoughts as I looked over at it, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and looked to see that it was Evan, just in time.