A group of friends tries to piece itself back together after losing its glue.
*****
It's a quiet October morning in Palo Alto, California, when the news break out--June Beaumont was...
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SOFIA
Don't panic.
I repeated those two words to myself like a mantra, unable to calm the incessant pounding of my heart against my chest, and pressed my closed fists against my thighs to make my legs stop bouncing up and down. Everywhere I looked was a green ocean, robes and hats and ribbons, and everything easily blurred together in my mind. It could easily pass for a countryside spring field before the grass and the plants dried up under the scorching Carp sun.
It was a lot more monumental than a change in seasons or in weather. Today was my—well, our—graduation ceremony. Under normal circumstances, I'd be ecstatic; after all, it was a firm, definite farewell to my high school life and we were playing some imported game later on, appropriately named Panic, just to win some money none of us really needed.
However, June wasn't here. No amount of money or hugs from my graduating class could ever change that.
It was an odd feeling. I couldn't help but feel like I owed it to her to be happy today, as she'd never get to experience the joy of graduating, but a tiny voice in the back of my head insisted I had already sacrificed enough of my happiness for the sake of hers. It had taken me getting into Stanford, feeling miserable about it, then looking at my own tear-stricken face in the mirror to acknowledge just how ridiculous that was.
"Are you okay?" Xena asked, leaning forward to look at me. Felix sat between the two of us, with Grace occupying the chair to my right. I'd grown unbelievably closer to her ever since San Francisco and, while I wouldn't go as far as calling her my best friend, she was very dear to my heart. "You look about to cry."
"Allergies," I said, aware I didn't sound the slightest bit convincing. "I'll be okay."
I sat in silence, listening to Principal Kapoor introduce the class of 2020, and avoided thinking about how badly I wished I had skipped the ceremony instead, teeth gritted. Once my name got called, I plastered on the brightest I possibly could, accepted my diploma and the gentle pat on the shoulder Principal Kapoor gave me, then grinned at Meridian once he blew me a kiss from the crowd.
