𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖 𝐎'𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊

𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 （𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐）

We are back with another batch of Teen Fiction Reviews. Don't forget, the reviews are honest and constructive. Take to all the corrections and improve where you need to.

Now, let's get to it.

****

Book: BENEATH HER FACADE
Author: selzy123

Book Graphics: 8/10

Your cover is very okay, very catchy. The title is bold and legible as well as well arranged. The picture on the cover also depicts the title and the events of the book. But it would have been better if the picture was clearer and not in black and white. Apart from that, everything else seems good. Well done.

Blurb: 4/5

You have a very good blurb. It draws readers in and at the same time, doesn't let in on too much info, just the right amount. Though, you wrote it like a synopsis not a blurb. There is a difference between a blurb and a synopsis, you can read online to have a clearer understanding. Safe for that, you are good.

Intro: 4/5

Your prologue is what a prologue should be. It's letting readers in on a very important event that happened to the main character which some how opens the floor for subsequent events that will take place in the book. That is very exceptional. Apart from a few errors that would be pointed out next, your prologue is on point.

Punctuations: 2/10

Now this is where the major issue is. Your punctuations are very poor, sorry to say and it is noticable. Writers make punctuation errors all the time, but most writers know how to work around their mistakes so that it won't be noticable. Bad punctuations can turn a reader off.

In the prologue, you didn't use commas where commas were meant to be used. You just kept writing, no pause where there was supposed to be a pause. Eg, You wrote;

"Jameela sat there on the ground with tears silently streaming down her face watching them lower her father into his grave."

There was no comma in the statement above and this is one of many statements like this. Instead, this is how it should have been written;

"Jameela sat there on the ground, with tears silently streaming down her face, watching them lower her father into his grave."

There are even better ways to construct that sentence without making it too wordy, but we'll get to that when we talk about sentence construction.

Also, when you write your dialogues, you tend to use comma after your end quote. For example; "Jameela, how are you?"(,)he asked. That comma inside the bracket isn't supposed to be there for any reason and that's how it was for all your dialogues. You already put a question mark, the comma is practically an error. Please edit this.

Another issue is the use of your quotation marks for your dialogues. Instead of using this (") you used apostrophe ('). Apostrophes shouldn't be used in place of quotation marks. Whenever you want to quote a dialogue, use quotation marks (") not apostrophes. Please edit that in your work.

Last but not least, your use of Ellipses (...). It is important to note that Ellipses are three dots only (...). Nothing more, Nothing less. You made use ellipses in dialogues where your character is stuttering. Instead of ellipses, make use of an hypen. So, instead of "O...K...ay." She stuttered, You can easily write this; "O-Okay." Do you understand?

Spelling and Grammar: 5/10

Your spellings are pretty okay. Hardly any spelling mistake, nothing a little editing can't handle. Your grammar however needs a little bit of work. You started your book with past tense and you should be able to keep it up till the end in past tense. Instead, you were fluctuating back to present tense and it was somehow noticable. Switches are inevitable but try to make yours go unnoticed. Also, the use of adverbs. You used too much adverbs like; Calmly, meekly, defensively, dismissively and so on. You can use adverbs but don't use them too much. Try to replicate your words to avoid repetition of the same thing;
Eg, "She said, He said, They said" and "She replied, He replied, They replied, She replied harshly".