Helmut Zemo Oneshots

LEAVE THEN (PT 2)

Plot: It has been years since you told your husband to leave when you hear a knock at the door before the sun has even risen.

Warnings: Description of a depressive state, angst, if there's something else I should warn for let me know.

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Your days were endless and mundane. You tried to find joy in them, you truly did, but every day the ache in your heart worsened and you couldn't stop the tears that would pour down your face every time you were alone. Eventually you gave into the emptiness that gnawed at your heart, spending days on end in your bed.

You had heard of what had become of your husband, his imprisonment ruining all hope of you ever having someone to hold you in their arms. It was true you could start over with someone else, but the thought brought you so much guilt you dismissed it entirely. How could you create a life with someone else after all that had happened? You weren't sure if you had the capability to love anyone else anymore, hell, you didn't even have the capability to love yourself. Helmut's words ran through your head on silent nights. "There was nothing keeping me here anyways" Were you that worthless to him? If your husband couldn't even love you enough to stay with you, how could anyone else love you? How could you love yourself?

There were few moments you were spared from your self loathing and depressive state, namely in the morning when the sunlight began to emerge above the horizon. It gave you a sense of hope in a way, perhaps one day the pale gold sunlight would shine upon you and you would finally be okay. However, once night returned all your hopes of being okay went away as you lost yourself to the memory of that night every time you saw the moon. You had lost the last person you had left that night, and the scene replayed over and over in your head, taunting you cruelly.

The sun had not yet risen when you heard a knock on the door. Your mind urged you to ignore it, but for some reason you got up anyways, fixing your hair and tossing on a silk bathrobe to give yourself the appearance of being somewhat composed. Despite the events that had transpired all those years ago between you and your husband you were still Baroness Zemo to the world, and because of your lingering love for your estranged husband you acted the part.

As if you had been punched in the solar plexus, all breath left your body when you opened the door to see the man standing on the front steps. Helmut's gaze was as steady and piercing as you had remembered it always being, but it had aged along with him, a few wrinkles you didn't remember being there had appeared on his face. It was clear his time in prison had been spent reflecting upon himself, he was no longer the broken and vengeful man you had remembered from that night. He had time to ponder many things when he was in that cell and now he stood before you with an air of purpose.

"Y/n." You had missed the way your name would roll off his tongue. His eyes pleaded with you to hear him out, and you relented. Reluctantly you stepped aside, opening the door wider to allow for him to enter the house you had kicked him out of before.

"Helmut." You greeted him with a nod, deciding to be cordial with this interaction. You longed for his warmth but you knew you had to figure out the purpose of this visit first. However, your body was already alive with anticipation. Were you getting him back? Would you finally be happy again? "Why have you come to visit? Shouldn't you be locked away in some German prison?" You asked him as you headed to the kitchen, turning the kettle on. Although this was his property you were determined to be a good host.

"I came here for you, to see your face. You are all I thought of during those years. I will be sent to an even higher security prison shortly, but I wanted a proper goodbye." His words made your fist tighten around the teacup you held. You weren't getting him back. Your eyes began to sting as they produced tears but you closed them with an exhale, willing them to go away.

You stayed silent, the click of the electric kettle finishing its boiling filled the room and you carefully poured tea in the two cups. Carefully you brought them over to the couch Helmut sat on, handing him his cup before taking a seat on the chair across from him. What was there to say? The one thing you wanted came back, but soon he would be ripped away again.

"Y/n, speak to me, please." Helmut pleaded.

"You're cruel Helmut." You found your voice after a few more moments. "All I wanted was you, and you came back, but only temporarily. It's not fair." You spoke as you gazed into your tea, stirring it absently. "Why don't we get a happy ending? What did we ever do wrong to deserve that day?"

"Nothing, Liebchen, we did nothing to deserve it. It was just the cruelty of fate." He explained, his voice soft yet littered with a bitterness you knew wasn't for you but for the Avengers. "My biggest regret is leaving you, do you know that?" His words made you look up into his misty eyes. "Even though my plan succeeded I feel empty inside. I should have stayed and grieved properly with you. I left you all alone with nobody. It was painful imagining what was going on with you while I was gone, I couldn't even begin to imagine how you felt. You probably can't stand me after that night."

You sniffled, tearing up at his words but this time allowing yourself to show that weakness to him. "Helmut, I've learned not to resent you for your decision over time. I just miss you. I miss being in your arms, walking Carl to school together, I miss being a family."

"Remember when we were young, when we first met at that gala? It was your first one and you-"

"I spilt my drink all over the right side of you and everyone expected you to get upset with me and make me pay for your outrageously expensive suit, but instead you pulled me close to you and said I had to accompany you for the rest of the event to hide the stain." You cut him off, finishing the memory. The corners of your lips turned into a slight smile as you thought back to your first meeting.

"I told you I never wanted you to leave my side that night, and it still holds true." Helmut said softly. "Even though I'll be gone, I want you to always love me and keep me close to you, just like I will with you."

You let out a quiet laugh through your tears, sniffling after. "I could never stop loving you Helmut. You're my Husband, I love you. Always."

Helmut reached into his pocket and pulled out a golden necklace, handing it to you. "It's a locket, it has all of us in it. Me, you, Carl. I want you to have it. It comforted me when I was away from you, and now you need it more than me."

You carefully flipped the delicate golden jewelry open, a gasp leaving your throat at the sight of your family back when everything was okay. "Will you put it on for me?" You asked Helmut who replied by standing up along with you and gently taking the locket from your hands.

The delicate jewelry felt cold against your collarbone as he placed it on you, clasping the necklace on you. With Helmut now behind you, you had a clearer view out the large window he had sat in front of. The sun was rising, and as its soft golden rays shone through the window and onto your skin you felt Helmut's lips press against the back of your neck gently. In that moment, for the first time in years, you were finally okay.