At the age of 15, every night before I sleep, I always do imagine fake scenarios in my head just to fall asleep. At the age of 15, I always imagine myself together with my crush being the cutest gay couple in the world. At the age of 15, I always imagine how I'm going to become the world's famous OB-GYNE or a doctor whose specialty is about fetuses. And at the age of 15, I was slapped by a reality that these are just my fake scenarios that won't turn into reality, because gays like me, would never have a happily ever after with my crush.
"That was insanely good." He said while catching his breath and starts kissing me to my neck. His beard touches my neck again and it feels so good when he does that. We started to kiss again then he laid besides me. He was about to grab his pack of cigarettes when I stopped him. "Hey! Not in my bed, and not in my face. We are doctors Jasper, stop doing that." He smiles then he throws his cigarette away from him.
"So, Jasper huh? Later before we're naked you used to call me Doctor White." He said while grinning. "We are professionals Jasper; we should address ourselves like that. Isn't it that hard?" I rolled my eyes then sat in my head. Doctor White is a colleague of mine, we work in the same hospital. He is one of the best cardiothoracic surgeon in the east coast.
He has a wife, an ex wife to be exact. Her name is Tatiana and they have been married even before I became an intern in New York Grace Hospital. Everybody in the hospital had witnessed the love story that they have, even I have shipped them before. I remember the time that Jasper once asked me a favor about searching his old records and surgery that has Tatiana's name in there as a scrub nurse. He's planning to give a Tatiana a special wedding anniversary dinner using these medical records of him as his "time capsule" where he tells the story what he felt during those surgery with Tatiana. Later on, he was surprised as Tatiana delivers a good news to his husband that she was pregnant. But unfortunately she got herself into miscarriage that makes their marriage falling into pieces.
After they lost their child due to her miscarriage his wife becoming so cold to him. Her wife is one of my patients back then, she has beauty of a goddess, funny, smart, tall and with that brunette hair of her? Ugh, she is like the every man's dream to date with. I remember those times that Tatiana almost killed Jasper by almost hitting him by a car. Jasper was depressed at that time, together with me and his friends showed support when he is in the hospital.
Me and Jasper were just friends, after what happened together with his wife, Jasper was lost, he started drinking and smoking when he is a cardiothoracic surgeon. I hated to see him suffering like that so I was there just to comfort him, at first. But later on, I found myself naked while he is on top of me sweating while thrusting inside me in the on-call room. As much as I wanted to stop this affair but he told me that his love for his wife were slowly fading and he was filling a divorce. We were doing this like almost a year now, the feeling of guilt was there the whole time not until he filled a divorce to Tatiana. Where's Tatiana now? She's in the Mental hospital now and trying to recover.
"No, it's not that hard at all. He gets up on his bed then he starts kissing me from the back. "But the other one is becoming harder." I glared at him. "Out."
He got out from my bed instantly. He told me that he was so scared at me, my anger was so different from any Filipino friend that he knows and I find it cute. I am a Filipino, born and raised in the Philippines. I was petitioned by my Aunt at the age 20 after my mama dies due to liver failure and while my papa put his fists to me and to my brother whenever something bad happens to him. He blamed the death of my mama to us and he starts drinking for the rest of his miserable life. After I was petitioned, I left my 2 young siblings to my grandma away from my shit head father. When I got to the US, my Aunt found me a job that I can work to. I was working with an old couple back then. All of my salaries and allowances were straight forward to my siblings and to my-
"Hey Clark, thank you for this" Then he started to play with his tongue in his mouth and he laughs at the top of his lungs. I giggled, why on earth a man like him would join me in the bed? He is handsome, smart, funny, a 6'1ft. tall, he has a good body built, clean shaped beard, blue eyes and blonde hair. Together with his ex-wife Tatiana, they look stunning, like a god's and goddesses in real life. I have to admit, I was having a crush on Jasper before ever since I worked here in NYC and he doesn't know about it. To us gays, when we found out that our crushes has a girlfriend or a wife, we usually do the "uncrushing" or any word that would best describe to not love their crush or un-liking them, not until I was introduced to do the snaking technique.
"Alright, since you kick me out already. Goodbye then. I'll see you tomorrow in the hospital. Goodnight. Love you." He said while laughing at his back then he exits to my room. Later, I heard he honks his car the he drives away from my house. Love you? Did he really said that to me? Well, it wasn't the first time though but do you really have to say such phrases like "love you" when you both doesn't know your relationship status? Just sex? Besides I had enough trauma about saying "I love you" to the person that will hurt you sooner. Sigh, a breath of relief after I realized that I did the right thing. But one thing I don't understand with people nowadays, why do you say I love you if you don't mean it?
I got up and cleaned myself in the shower. I love you baby; I love you so much. I love you too Clark my love. I would love to spend the rest of my life with you. Forever. It echoes all over again whenever I took a shower in here.
Hi baby, will you catch up for dinner tonight? And baby, you forgot your coat and-
Baby, what is this? From whose lipstick is this?!
Baby please don't leave me, I LOVE YOU!!! PLEASE NOOOOOO!
Baby, are you coming back to me? I'm so happy!!!
Sighed, I rubbed my eyes just to remove the stings because of my tears. How I wish there is a capsule or a surgery or a miracle that could remove this pain for the rest of my life. I got out of the shower then headed down in the counter.
"A toast for you Clark for being the most masochist gay in the world. BDSM? Don't know her hahahaha." I laughed then started to drink a bottle of champagne. This champagne knows all my cries, happiness and maybe champagne could be my new best friend. Is it really necessary to be hurt when you love someone? Is it really necessary to feel hurt when you choose to love someone? Is it really necessary to feel hurt when you decide to choose love over yourself? All my life I just wanted love and be loved by someone. Why does love always ended with fear?
I got up from my chair, started to walk and trying not to broke my ankle. Geez, champagne could hurt me, why does anything that I touch hurt me?
"Oh shit. I forgot to clean my room it's so messy. Oh shit, I slept with someone who is married that is way much messier." I tried to clean the room with all my clothes on the floor. I miss Jasper already. Jasper wasn't only just a friend in the bed but also my person. Jasper is my real-life champagne. I can laugh with him, fight with him, hangout with him or even I can sip him? Kidding! As I worked here in the New York Grace Hospital, I was an intern and he was a 3rd year resident at the time, he was already dating with his wife Tatiana at that time.
Before me and Jasper became close, he was my boss at that time. Me and my co-interns used to follow him and we had secret nickname for him, baliw. A Tagalog word crazy because he turns crazy whenever she sees Tatiana in the hospital, well Tatiana was used to be a scrub nurse before she turned crazy. And since he doesn't understand Tagalog word, I still used to call him baliw.
Yawned, I guess the alcohol is messing with my head now. As soon as I finished cleaning my room, I crawled back to bed then I close my eyes. He's right, it was insanely good.
"Clark, I'm not here to get us back together." Grabs something in his satchel and handed towards me. "I want a divorce."
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Yes, I'm too harsh for Clark's character. And I know I'm too harsh for my first chapter. To be honest, I really don't know if this is the right amount of content in every chapter.
I got inspired from binge watching Grey's Anatomy, so I decided to make my character a surgeon hahaha.
YOU ARE READING
That Midnight summer dream (a boy in love story)
Romance[On-going] Clark Andrew Dominguez, a Gay Fetal surgeon once again remembers all of his painful memories from his past and tries to overcome as he develops having a fear of loving again.
