Princess. | Maknae Line

43 : Heart out.

─── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ───

The show was now over and the members were back at their dorm since everything took place in Seoul.

Maya was sitting on her bed, waiting for Jungkook.
They still had to talk, and she wasn't going to let him think he's some kind of toy to her, when in reality he's so much more than that.

She was wearing thigh high socks, a pair of nike pro shorts with a hoodie she stole from Seokjin's closet long ago, the absence of massive shoulders making her look tiny in the pink material.

It was cold outside, winter starting to install itself progressively, but Maya liked that weather.

Though she didn't particurlaly like human touch, it was a perfect excuse for cuddling and watch lame movies that people usually watch until the end because they want to see the predictable ending.

She liked that, very much.

Jungkook cut her train of thoughts, entering the room without a knock.

"Getting comfortable, aren't you ?" She asked, raising a brow.

"At this point, what else can you hide from me Noona ?" He answered, chuckling as he let himself fall on her bed.

Her bedroom was in neutral tones. It smelled like vanilla with a hint of orange, which was relaxing.

Jungkook looked at her a second, nervous.

Even though he was the one who wanted to talk first, he was scared that this conversation might tear them apart.

To the maknae, that was the worst scenario.

"Would you.. Would you like to start ?" He asked, looking at the ceiling.

Maya sighed, licking her lips out of nervosity.

"No, go ahead, I'll be listening." She answered, getting a few strands of hair out of his face.

Jungkook was already beautiful, but bareface was even better.

He looked so young and innocent, so squishy and cute.

His honey skin shined, his face bright as he probably just did his skincare. His doe eyes were so big and bright, the girl felt like she could get lost in them, staring at it all day.

Jungkook nervously played with his earrings, staring at the moonlight that shone through her blinders.

"I.. I don't know what I am to you Noona, I feel like you treat me as an option, when the other Hyungs are unavailable. I feel like you come to me in those moments, when you feel like you need attention and, or sex." Jungkook started.

Maya nodded, not saying a word. She just listened to his rant, taking his feelings in consideration.

"I don't want to be an option, I don't want to stand at your wedding and be one of the guys you fucked but the one waiting for you down the aisle.. I shouldn't fall for you, you probably don't feel the same but.. But.. Shit, I love you Maya-Noona. I love you so damn much, you don't understand I.. I want to be so much more for you, I want you to acknowledge me, to return my feelings, to be mine and even if I learned more from you than the other way around.. I want to teach you some things, I want to teach you how to love and I want to be able to give you so much more because.. You deserve so much more."

Jungkook took a break to breathe, feeling tears getting to his eyes. Exposing his feelings was already a difficult task, but Maya's eyes on him made him nervous, hence the lack of eye contact.

He was talking very quickly, nervosity getting the worse out of him.

"I got fucking crazy for you and.. And.. Fuck, I dream of you every time, and every day I wish I didn't woke up, because in this reality you're not with me, you're involved with a lot of people and I'm just.. One guy out of all of them.." His voice faded, slightly cracking.

That broke Maya's heart.

She kept stroking his hair, waiting for him to calm down.

"You can cry Koo it's okay.." She reassured him in a soft voice.

"That'd be fucking pathetic Noona.. I want to be a man to you, not a crybaby." Jungkook answered.

Maya ignored his words, forcing him to sit up to take him in his arms, hugging him tightly.

Overwhelmed, Jungkook broke into tears,  gripping on Seokjin's hoodie like his life depended on it, his tears wetting the fabric.

"I could give you so much more, but I'm just weak to you." Jungkook said through sobs, burrying his head in the crook of her neck. "I just.. I just want you to love me Noona.."

That was the last straw.

Maya cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at her in the eyes.

"Koo open your eyes sweet boy, come on.." She said, wiping his tears delicately. "You're not weak and I'm glad you opened up to me, I'm always listening to you, you know that ?"

Jungkook slowly nodded, biting his lower lip, his heart pounding in his chest in apprehension.

"You're not an option to me, you're the fucking main character. I won't try to sugarcoat this and I'll be honest, yeah, I'm fucking confused about my feelings right now and I'm trying to sort it out but.. But I do know that what I feel for you isn't platonic. I'm not asking you to go and fight your way to my heart, but know that you fucking matter to me." She said truthfully before taking a deep breath. "There's no one like you, and for your information, I'm not fucking around with a hundred people, because I only have three people on my mind.. And you're apart of the trio."

Jungkook gulped, his lower lip quivering as he listened to her.

"I don't ever wanna hear you say you don't matter to me or some shit like that anymore. You're my only sweet boy, you hear me ? You make me feel so many emotions at the same Jungkook, fuck ! I want to cuddle you, laugh at your mess and scream your name at the same time, do you think I'll feel all of that if you were just an option ?"

He slowly shook his head, maintening eye contact.

"Then don't ever say things like that again. You matter to me, way more than words can explain, you know I'm not good with that.. But, everything with you feels so right and genuine, I.. I won't say that I'm in love with you, but I do have feelings for you Jungkook-ah, so many fucking feelings, I want to make you feel alright, by any means."

Jungkook burried his face in her neck again, lightly sobbing in reassurance, holding her waist tightly as he fell on top of her on the bed.

They stayed in that position for a couple of minutes, Maya rubbing his back as he emptied his tears on the hoodie, hugging her tightly, like she'll leave any minute.

Maya kissed the top of his head from time to time, not saying a word, not until he spoke first.

".. Do you.. Do you also feel like this about other people ?" He asked, still burried in her neck.

Maya softly sighed, holding him closer as she stroked his hair.

She already knew Jungkook was going to sleep here, at least she knew she wouldn't let him go, not tonight.

She said she'll be honest with him, ignoring that question wasn't a possibility.

".. That's the exact problem, Guk-ah."

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©️ASHLEY