all for a dare

22

-george pov-

we both eventually pulled out of the hug and went into clays room. we were both sat down on his bed scrolling through our phones.

clay looked up from his phone then looking over at me. "george, why did you really come here?"

"i don't know. i guess i wanted to get my mind off things, and came here."

"but why? aren't i the one causing you stress?"

clay was right. he was the one who caused me stress. he was the reason i stayed up crying till 1am.

why am i here? the only thing i'm doing right now is convincing myself to forgive clay. and i shouldn't, i cant forgive clay.

he played with my emotions for weeks. he dated me, for a dare! all of it was fake. every moment we spent together was fake.

so yeah, why am i here? why the hell did i decided to come here?!

"i- i got to go," i replied as i got off of clays bed.

i quickly made my why downstairs and out the door. thankfully i got in the car before clay could stop me. i immediately turned the car on and began driving away.

knowing it was clay, i ignored my phone that kept buzzing in the cupholder.

once i got home i made my way towards the stairs. except carter had stopped me.

"what?" i asked.

"what happened," he said raising an eyebrow. "you look like you're in a rush or something."

"nothing happened. now move."

i walked past carter before he could speak up, and made my way back to my room. i wasn't really hungry so i guess i could just skip dinner.

after the hours of arguing and crying i was exhausted. it was only 8pm and i was tired.

i decided to go to sleep early tonight. i put my phone down on my nightstand and plugged it into the charger. i then slowly fell asleep.

——————

i was sat at the end of my bed when i heard my mom call out my name.

"george, honey! come downstairs. someone's here to see you"

"coming," i shouted back.

i sat up from my bed and made my way downstairs. i walked towards the front door only to see clay patiently waiting there.

i squinted as the sun went into my eyes. i put my hand up to block it out.

"clay, what are you doing here?"

"i wanted to come talk to you, after what happened yesterday. "

"okay, fine"

we were now sitting in my room. i patiently waited for clay to start talking.

"i know you're mad at me. i'm mad at myself. i just wanted to let you know i'm sorry. and i know i've said that a lot, but i mean it. i don't know what i was thinking. i don't know why i thought it was okay to hurt someone like that. i didn't know i'd actually fall in love with you. i never thought i'd fall for my best friends brother. ever. i didn't see you that way until i actually started hanging out with you."

"then when it came to actually admitting i had feelings for you i always denied it. i didn't want to like you. i tried pushing it away. i knew it would end up badly," he added.

"i'm don't exactly hate you. i'm obviously mad at you, and don't forgive you. it's just a lot for me right now."

"again, i'm sorry. and i'm sorry for using the 'drunk' excuse. i guess it's because when i got dared i was drunk, and thought it sounded like a fun idea. then i kind of just stuck with doing it."

i scooted closer to clay not replying. i then rested my head on his shoulder. in return, he rested his head on mine.

without having any control over anything. my vision started to fade black.

——————

i jolted awake and sat up from my bed. it was a dream. it was all a dream. except it felt real? everything felt real. maybe it could've been the fact that i was only thinking about clay.

except it wasn't just clay. it was what he did to me. it was the only thing i thought about now. i kept asking myself what i did wrong to deserve all of this. except i did nothing. i barely used to talk to him.

it felt like revenge in someway. as if i hurt him and he was getting back at me by breaking my heart.

what if he doesn't really like me? what if he was lying to me again. it's not like lying to me would hurt him. seeing he lied to me for weeks on end.

without thinking about it, i quickly sat up from my bed and ran downstairs. i went out the front door and got into the car.

i turned the radio down seeing the music on the radio sucks, and began backing out of the driveway.
once i left my driveway i grabbed my phone and began to text carter.

carter

i left to go somewhere. i'll be back in an hour or something.

an hour? be safe

i will, thanks.

i put my phone down and focused on the road. i continued driving until i finally reached the dirt road. i parked the car and began walking through the overgrown path.

i then walked through a small grass field and finally reached where i was trying to go.

the lake.

and i know what you're thinking. 'but george that's where you and clay kissed.' well yeah, you're right. but it wasn't that hard to push out all the meaningless memories. they all meant nothing to him, there's no need to keep them for me.

i came here because it was a calming place to be. a place where i could help clear my mind. it was the only place i could do this. a place where i could avoid carter, sapnap, and clay.

and no, sapnap didn't do anything. sometimes you just need to escape from everyone and have alone time, i guess.

i walked down to the end of the dock and sat down. i pulled my hands behind my back and held myself up for support. i looked out into the distance, not really focusing on anything specific.

i need to do this more often.

-

edit: to clarify what was and wasn't a dream. ////the only part that was a dream was clay coming over to georges house and apologizing////