Sitting in my room
Empty and quiet room
Yet the voices in my head are screaming
Crying
Asking for answers
How do I answer them
When i'm still making hypotheses
When will the confusion end
The feeling of uncomfortableness crawls around my whole body like bugs in a forest
Looking at every inch of this cursed body
Searching for every one of my imperfections
Disgusted by my feminine appearance
I want to rip myself apart
Tearing off every piece of me
And stitching on a new piece from someone else
Maybe i'll like this look better
And eventually get tired of it
Then move on to the next piece of masculinity i've saved in my mind
Snipping my hair seems like a good option
As a grab the scissors cutting away my femininity
Just hoping someone will look at me as if I'm a man or at least something other than a "she"
I'm much more I tell myself
As i'm putting on multiple sports bras
Hoping for them to flatten my chest
Even if it's just a little bit
Putting on a big black button up shirt
That I took from my older brothers closet
Just big enough to cover more than half of my thighs
I tell myself,
"Look at this masculine boy.
How handsome of a boy he is.
Oh, how manly of a man he will soon be one day.
One day."
I say to my reflection
As I hear my mother's car pull up in the driveway
I rush to lock my room door to quickly change
And back to skirts and pony tails we go.
Back to the young, beautiful daughter she raised.
Back to a girl
The girl that everyone knows and loves.
The girl that everyone cares so much about
But has no idea what's going on in her mind
The girl who's always smiling
YOU ARE READING
Ripped Apart
Poetry⚠️-TW- dysphoria, not healthy binding, cutting hair with scissors⚠️ yo so this is a poem i wrote about my gender dysphoria and how i've recently started identifying as a trans male so hope you guys like it :3 <3 (picture isn't mine)
