Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
- Chapter 1: With Love, Honey Bitch -
"Son of a bitch."
The expletives easily fall from my lips as I struggle to haul this heavy-ass cardboard box through this tiny doorway. Whoever thought to make apartments so small you can barely fit any of your furniture and shit inside should get a foot shoved up their ass for being some greedy, inconsiderate bastards.
"Language, Cal," my mom scolds from the kitchen as I finally get the box shoved through the small doorway with a loud, out-of-breath grunt.
I softly huff at my mom's attempts to scold her 24-year-old daughter she hasn't seen in five months. No matter how old I am and how many miles away I live from her, Vivian Reed will always baby her only daughter. I kind of like it still, but don't tell her that.
"You do remember I'm 24, right?" I ask, plopping the big box onto the harlequin tile floor that covers most of the apartment.
"You do remember I pushed you out of my vagina 24 years ago, right?" She mockingly asks the same question in the same tone as me.
I can't help but smile at the sight of her standing there by the counter with her hands resting on her hips, looking just like she did when I was a little kid who had gotten into trouble by writing on the hallway walls with my fruity scented markers.
"Probably a good thing I don't remember that."
She playfully rolls her eyes and fights back a smile. "And I'm not that old like you may think I am," she retorts, moving her shoulders up and down in an awkward, offbeat shimmy. "I can still get down."
"Please do not do or say that ever again," I shake my head.
I push the big box so it's right next to the counter and then kick it lightly with my foot. I sigh and look around the one-bedroom apartment I just signed the lease for last Tuesday.
It was a miracle that I found an apartment so quickly and at an affordable price. To put it simply, or bluntly, as my mouth a lot of the time has a mind of its own, the economy has gone to shit.
The stock market crashed, which caused the housing bubble to go in the tank. Corporate conglomerates filed bankruptcy, unemployment skyrocketed, and the entire United States economy was forced into the worst recession we've experienced since the Great Depression.
Literal shit is now our society. We're all living like we're inside a toilet bowl. There are no houses for sale because the housing market prices are jacked up higher than the fucking Empire State building. The gas prices are now nearing $5 a gallon. And it seems like everyone is either losing their money, their jobs, or their houses. Or maybe all three, like a triple fucking whammy.
