The fosters: battle scars/rediscovering faith

Ch. 1

Skylars pov
Its been 3 years since my mom passed away in a car accident from a drunk driver. Since then me and my sisters life has been a living hell and it's my fault we have no mother if it wasn't for me she would still be alive and we'd all be together as one big happy family. Let me take you back to that night I was 12 at the time mom and dad and I were in a heated argument because I wanted to go out with a couple of friends who they thought were bad influences because they were a few  years older and they got high and drunk. And I didn't listen I rebelled and got in the car with these boys and she got in an accident trying to look for me her trying to save me came at a price it cost her her life. I will never forgive myself for it. After she died nothing was the same dad blamed me for her death because if it wasn't for me she would still be here. He made me feel worthless and made me feel like a mistake a burden wishing it was me in her place and I can't say I blame him he lost the love of his life because of my recklessness. He started abusing me and burning me with cigarettes to make sure I lived life in pain and suffering. When my friends found out school and social services got involved and he was sent to prison and we were put in foster care. Those three years spent in foster care I became my sisters caretaker and protector making sure nothing happened to her while we traveled foster home to foster home. We went to 15 different foster homes until we got kicked out as they decided they didn't want us anymore and now we were bills office waiting for our new foster parents to come. Holding hands with my 12 year old sister Mackenzie who was filled with so much hope and optimism. Meanwhile I was the exact opposite I was closed off with my guard up expecting the worse. As my sister observed and sensed my negative energy and self doubt about our new foster home and foster parents which didn't sit well with her.

"Come on sky can you think positive for once and have faith that theirs a family out their that wants us loves us and will finally find our forever home this family their home is the one I can feel it." Mackenzie said all bright and optimistic.

"Well I don't see this happy family togetherness shit that your picturing what I do see is you setting yourself up for more hurt and disappointment it happens everytime you get your hopes up things don't work out and your spirit gets crushed and who has to put you back together again me so do me a favor stop spreading your fairy dust and fairytale endings and get your priorities straight that type of bullshit isn't meant for people like us what your feeling is false hope don't believe it it's only gonna break ya down more than we already are." I said with hurt rage and anger I felt in the moment from to many life experiences.

"What's so wrong in having faith and believing in miracles and believing something good might happen huh what is wrong in wanting happiness and wanting a family who will give us conditional love and support we need who give us stability from our broken one who will actually give us what we're both desperately craving to feel loved again you know their was a time where you were actually had so much life in your eyes so much love and positivity you were filled with so much happiness and hope and you weren't the type who gave up and you weren't the type to be defeated either but looking at you now your not the same girl I knew 3 years ago that girl always believed in the good and always saw the bright side of things but it's clear you lost sight of what's most important yourself and faith and I think it's a real shame that you forgot who you were and what you stand for if someone needs to get their priorities straight it's you not me." Mackenzie said defensively feeling hurt from what I said.

"You know what Kenzie I'm just trying to protect you and save you from getting your heart broken again when things turn to shit when they decide where to much of a hassle to take care of or provide for and have enough of trying to deal with all our issues to them we're just a burden damaged goods a loss coss that can't be saved it's how the world sees us nothing but troubled foster kids who are too far gone and to broken to be fixed we aren't meant to have a happy ending or a loving family it's me and you against the world I'm your family once you realize that your better off it's for the best." I said with mixed emotions sadness hurt and anger.