The fosters: battle scars/rediscovering faith

Ch.3

Mackenzie's pov
I couldn't sleep for the life of me because today was the day we would be attending anchor beach a whole new school I'd have to adjust to. I'm used to changing school from school whenever we had to change from foster home to foster home. It was always hard to make friends and feel like we belong when we're always packing up and moving every time we got familiar and used to surroundings. That's why I was hoping and praying that things here were different to finally have something permanent in our lives. To finally feel safe and secured and not always have to carry around that fear that no matter where we go we won't be loved or enough for anyone to ever want us that everyone leaves us. Will never truly feel safe until we feel genuine love and care from a family so that we feel like we could break down walls and build trust and get rid of the fear that's holding us back from being capable to love. And I know deep down in my heart that this family was different from our past foster homes that they actually care and love us and wants what's best for us and they want us to be apart of their family. And they'll always love and treat us like we're their own even if we're not blood. And that's what makes them so special and what makes them the perfect fit for us because their filled with unconditional love and compassion and they have a heart that genuinely cares for others. And they'll always give us the guidance and stability we need. And their ability to not judge us and see past the file that we're not just a label to them. That we're an actual human being who have real feelings and who just had a tough life and just need a home with lots of love in it. To feel like their wanted and their lives matter. A sense of belonging and that's what this family provides and have made me felt like since we got here. And I'm trusting my instincts on this one this our forever home and forever family. And the thought of it makes me feel happy and I let out a smile at the thought. Even though the new school is what I'm more scared about then anything. As Skylar felt my restlessness as she speaks to me.

"You nervous and scared about going to a new school kenz it's okay if you are because I am to. I know what your feeling if it's bothering you we can talk about it .we will get through these life changes together." Skylar said in a comforting and sincere tone.

"Yes I'm terrified at the thought of having to start off new again at a different school. The feeling of being an outcast and not fitting in with our peers. Constantly feeling judged for what we are and for our background constantly being labeled for something that was out of our control in the first place. That no one will ever truly love or want to be around us because of it. Nothing more than lost causes and damaged goods to others. That will always have that constant fear of not being good enough and unloved. I'm afraid of being friendless and alone and not accepted by anyone." I said spilling to my sister about how I was feeling so anxious the constant anxiety.

"I understand exactly what your feeling kenz I have those exact same fears and feelings. But you know what I learned not to give a fuck what other people think or say because they can't define us. Only we can and will find people who love us and accept us for who we are . So don't worry about looks we get or the whispers just focus on yourself and what you want in life and become a success story. Will prove every doubter wrong just know you'll always have me will be each other's friends I love ya kenz." Skylar said full of love and understanding . And trying to provide as much comfort to her sister as she possibly can.

"I love you too sky atleast I know all always have you if anyone turns against me. And your more than enough but hopefully when morning hits all be able to meet people and make friends who can look past my background. Or the fact that I'm a foster kid and see I'm much more than that. I'm a person and a human who's life matters just the same as everyone else's. We just had some bad shit happen to us. I hope they could see that. That we're not as bad as they perceive that we're good people inside and out. If they actually took the time to know us they'd see that." I said with such passion,love,and emotion about what I believe in.