The fosters: battle scars/rediscovering faith

Ch.4

Skylars pov
Today has been the worst day of my life.anchor beach has been a nightmare .my first day was a horrible experience . As I heard kids whispering and talking bad about me like they know me and my life so well. I heard them talking about me and how it was my fault we had no mother and was in foster care in the first place. I even heard one kid say that I deserved what my father did to me. I admit it hurt more than I like to admit because I already feel that on a personal level. I already blame myself for my mothers death and for my father hating me and for what I did to my family and my sister I have to live with that guilt everyday that I survived and she didn't. And I also heard them talk about the foster homes I've been in like they personally knew my situation and personally experienced them which made my blood boil. I knew they were going to believe what they wanted to believe. And believe what they heard so they think they know my story and have me personally figured out. But those stories about my past foster homes weren't even true. They blamed me for ruining homes and happiness for Mackenzie. Saying it's my fault we got kicked out in the first place for being a huge slut and getting into relationships with my foster brothers. Which is far from the truth and it isn't what happened at all. I know I shouldn't let what they say bring me down or affect me and usually I don't give a fuck what people think or perceive of me. I am usually able to handle it and ignore it and just get through the day with my head held high. And reminding myself what their saying is background noise and what their saying doesn't matter because I have the facts. And the only way to win is not to let them break me and to keep my spirits up and focus on my future and become a success story and become truly happy. Because that's the sweetest revenge and how you get back at people like that by doing your best and winning at life. Living a happy successful life is how you get back at people who want to see you fail and pray for your downfall by living your best life and rise above the hate that's how you don't let haters win. But today I guess the words and what they were saying just got to me and broke me. But I knew I wouldn't let this impact me for long that when I fall all get back up and rise above again. I'm my own worst enemy sometimes though even when something that could of been good for me comes along. I jeopardized myself by not accepting the offer from the girl I met her name was madeleine rose. She heard me sing and okay the guitar and she asked me to join the glee club. Telling me how I had a god given talent and that my voice was angelic and amazing and that a voice like that needs to be heard and shine and how they need someone like that in their glee club. But I was busy with negative energy and thinking everyone was out to get me. That Everyone was out to see me fail and not make it. That I didn't see I was being welcomed and accepted with open arms that they wanted to see me truly do good and succeed and actually be happy. And I need to be surrounded by people like that because those are the miracles and the blessings in your life that you want to stick around and be in your corner and don't take for granite. I knew when tomorrow came around I had to fix it and accept that once in a lifetime opportunity and join the glee club and allow some happiness in my life. And stop loving with the fear that I'm only going to get hurt. I knew soon my sister and my foster family was going to come up and check on me . And I will have to fill them in on what happened today. Because I know they wouldn't leave me alone until they knew what was bothering me. I knew I couldn't mask my feelings from them and hide what I truly felt like. Because they knew I was burying pain and that something was affecting me and they wouldn't let it slide. Because they want me to know I'm not a burden to them and they would never give up on me. And my life because my life worth living and saving. That's what makes them different from everyone else I've came across with. Because they don't see you as lost causes or to damage and to broken to be fixed. They genuinely love and care about what happens to us. They know we could be repaired with love and that's what's missing in our lives a family to heal our broken unloved hearts. Something to survive for and that's what a family is. As I heard the door open it was stef lena and my foster siblings and Kenzie who I knew would be showing up right on schedule.