Relapse

"we live such fragile lives"

Soundtrack
Dirty Little Secret—All American Rejects
In Too Deep—Sum 41
We Are Broken—Paramore

2

Mia

Her heart pounded equal beats of nerves and embarrassment and anger and heartbreak, drumming in her chest like a funeral march. That ridiculous bell dinged as she pushed the door to the Bean and Brew back open, and she avoided all eye contact—all eye contact except Carter's. She almost couldn't believe he was still there.

Mia resumed her seat across from him, but the iced caramel macchiato she'd ordered had slipped into a weird consistency as the whipped cream had broken down and the ice had melted, creating a watery separation near the top of the glass. She cleared her throat and looked at Carter with what she hoped were apologetic eyes.

"I am so sorry. That was possibly the worst timing ever."

Yet Carter's composure was as effortless as it had been when she'd gotten up from the table. "No worries. I'm guessing that was Jack?"

A slight tingle wrapped around Mia's ribcage. "That obvious?"

He let out a gentle laugh, one she then mimicked. "Your brother has mentioned him before. Just in passing."

"I'm not sure I believe that. Andy can't let Jack's name leave his mouth without a string of expletives following it."

"Now that you mention it, I do believe Andy said something along the lines of him being a cock sucking douche-bag son of a bitch, but I'm just paraphrasing."

Mia squirmed. Only she was allowed to call Jack such things; she'd give Andy a pass, because he was her brother. She wasn't sure how she felt about Carter saying those things, even if he were just repeating them. "Jack and I were in a long term relationship before this, and it's complicated, so I'd like to leave him out of this moving forward. I haven't been on a date in a while, but I'd have to imagine talking about your ex isn't really first date appropriate."

Carter smiled and gave a quick nod. "Got it. If it makes you feel any better about all of this, though, Andy told me you'd be nervous, but the level of nerves you're showing is nothing compared to what he prepped me for."

"I'm going to remind him he's adopted when I get home."

Carter laughed again, and suddenly it felt like a little of the tension Mia was feeling in her chest dissipated. Maybe Mia shouldn't have been on a date; maybe Mia should have just been single for a while, but the last two months hadn't given her the distraction she needed—Mia needed to put all of her energy into someone else, for she was terrified of what she would find if she looked inward. So she did just that: she turned the attention back on her brother's coworker and smiled.

"Andy mentioned you were in higher education?" Carter asked.

He was easing them back into neutral conversation, and Mia was grateful for his tact. "Yep. Though, I feel like that sounds so fancy. I mostly do recruitment work. I think he mentioned you worked with him in the finance department?"

"Kind of. I handle the investments, mainly retirement funds. You ever want to open a 401k, I can hook you up."

"A 401k? I'm barely in my mid-twenties."

"It's never too early to start planning for the future." Carter lifted his iced latte and took a sip.

The differences between Carter and Jack were dizzying for Mia. Little pings kept going off in her brain; some were sending signals saying that what she was doing was wrong, that she shouldn't even be entertaining the idea of another man when she knew things likely weren't over with Jack. Others were fighting off those signals, telling her she needed someone stable, that she needed someone who could be her support system for once.