The alarm rang at exactly 6:00 am, and that meant it's time to get up and get ready for school. I got up from my bed and walked lazily to the bathroom grabbing my uniform with me in there since i'm always scared someone from the family might barge into my room while i'm changing my clothes. Yep, i'm 16 and i'm not allowed to lock my bedroom door, and niether is anybody in this household, Except for my mom and dad ofcourse.
Sunday, 6:15 am.
"Louis! Come down here now! We're late!" I heard my name being called by my 13 year old little brother, Mike. Mom's going to drive us to school today since it's January and it's been raining showers since 2 days ago. "Coming!" I screamed back while running down the stairs holding my bag pack over my shoulder "I'm here, i'm here, chill out. You never really cared if we went to school early or not anyway" "Oh shut up you fart" "MOM! MIKES' CALLING ME NAMES!" "Mike! you want me to ground you again like last week?" Mike looked at me with wide eyes "You baby! You're 16 and you're still telling on your little brother!" "Still a minor" i said while smirking at his red face. "Louis, Go put on the car, i'll be right there." "Okay mom" I ran outside to the garage and put on the car like mom asked for and hopped into the passenger seat waiting for my mom. "But i wanted to sit on the front seat" I heard my brother saying "Well next time you have to hurry up and finish your breakfast" I never really eat breakfast, i always skip it for some reason, but yeah, got used to it by now. Just when Mike wanted to open his mouth to protest, my mom hopped into the drivers seat and started backing up the car from the garage slowly and there we were already driving on the high way towards our school. "So you miss harry Louis? I'm sorry you guys didn't get to hang out together much in the holiday, But you know we had to travel to see your family for christmas honey" "It's okay mom, i'm seeing him today, we texted each other last night, he's coming to school for sure" i said smiling at her.
Not minutes later we arrived at my school's gates. I kissed my mom Goodbye and jumped out of the car excited to see my best friend or rather, my blood brother, that i didn't get to see for weeks, which felt like ages. I really looked up to him, he was the first friend who wouldn't think of me as "The weird kid". I look at him like he's my favorite celebrity, to me, he's my idol and i would never leave his side no matter what the situation was, i wouldn't dare or even think about leaving him. But there's more things about him that i can't even express with words. Anyway, I ran to were my locker was figuring i'd see him there since my and his locker were right next to each other and also since i came rather late and missed assembly because of 'mike's empty stomach'. I headed towards were my locker but he was still wasn't here when i reached it, i sighed and opened my locker to clear my bag and take the books i needed for class, i closed it and i turned around only to see.. "HARRY!" I got his attention and ran towards him while he walked towards me smiling widely, "I missed you!" I said while hugging him tightly, he was taller than me so i kinda had to look up to see his face, and if i looked down, i'd only see his chest. "Me too louis!" He said and hugged me back one-armed and patting my back. I didn't like one-armed hugs, i found them meaningless sometimes that it quite bothered me, but i wouldn't say anything about it to harry, he would just say "Well how do you want me to hug you?" That's what he said last time and i figured that's what he's going to say the next time. But, what i don't get, is that im the only one who he one-arm hugs, He gives the everybody else and full on bear hug but never hugs me like that.. I wouldn't want to say anything or else he'll think of something else.
I've been having these weird feelings since a year ago, i'm not sure of them tho, sometimes i think their just because me and him are just too close and one time i thought of them as a "Am i in-love with him?" Question, But that couldn't be, i thought. It's impossible to be, but i accepted it. And still, it's so hard to believe because he's a boy, and i'm a boy. I've never loved a boy that way before i thought, but maybe i'm not in-love, maybe that's how having a close best friend feels like, since he was always my first true best friend and that people said "Best Friends do anything together" 'Anything'. I'm just really confused right now. But if if i was in-love with him, it would be against our religion, but i would never give up hope and my love for him. Oh God, see, that's what i'm talking about. I'm just really confused that i keep thinking about it 24/7 and my head keeps hurting with it, and not to mention my heart, because one night, while he was over at my house, i realized that, i was in-love with him and i've been in denial for too long. Once, he's just my Best friend and next, He's my best friend that i'm in-love with.
I would never mention those feelings to him, i'm too scared and terrified. He never really minded Homosexuals or anything, but, he once said that, if his friend was gay, he'd act like he doesn't know him anymore and that hurt my feelings alot, but one thing i'm sure off, is that i'm not gay. I just know it, i never looked at any other guy the way i look at him. I'm still attracted to girls, but the only guy that i think i'm in-love with is him and only him. And i just know there would never be another guy after him. But when he said "If one of my friends is gay, i would act as if i didn't know him" It didn't hurt my feelings, because i'm not gay, i'm just in-love with him and i'm a guy, that's why it broke my heart, and the only thing i could do at that time is give him my fake smile that i've got quite used to by now. I don't want him to sence anything, i'm to afraid i'd lose him. If he leaves me, my soul would seriously leave me.
