Chapter 3: Break My Heart Myself

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It's October, my favorite time of the year. I was beginning to get a little bored. It was almost the same thing almost every day. Wake up at 7 am, eat breakfast, get dressed, go to Target at 8:30 am for work starting at 9 am, then come home at 7 pm, eat dinner at 7:30 pm, then a quick nap, then off to recording sessions at 11 pm to 3 am. If no recording sessions were scheduled for the night, I would just watch TV for a while then go to bed.

Sometimes it was hard to wake up in the mornings. I started to procrastinate and be lazy about certain things. I would record certain things with my vlogging camera and save them on my laptop. Something like Teddy did in Good Luck Charlie. Maybe one day I can share them.

I have started having second thoughts about everything and would remember all the terrible things that my parents would say to me.

I decided to finally get some fish like I had been planning to do for a while
I went to Petco and bought some fish and a five gallon fish tank. I would watch them swim in their tank while sitting up in bed, trying to get myself out to get started with my day. At least I don't have to spend my life in small tank swimming. That part of my life is over. But I felt like I something was missing. I hated this feeling. It was the feeling I had when I was 'home'.

I started looking for another pet since the fish weren't really helping. A puppy or a kitten or even a bird. I was applying for different pets on Petfinder but a few months passed and I was not getting any replies. I was getting desperate. Which means I started looking at breeders. I knew it was a bad idea but I did it anyway.

The first time, I got scammed out of $800 and no puppy. I didn't learn my lesson and stop here. Instead I looked again for someone else.

The second time, I got scammed out of $400 for a beagle that was covered in ticks and fleas and was sick from Parvo because she wasn't vaccinated. I paid online with my debt card so I had to pick her up and couldn't get a refund.

I had to put her down after a week after getting her. I had her incarceration and put her ashes in a beautiful urn from an urn shop online. I had her paw pressed in some clay with her name 'Barbie' written on it with the time I got her to the time she passed. It was to remind me not to do this again no matter what.

I hated it

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I hated it. I promised to her that I wouldn't do that again. I hated myself for being so stupid. I made it worse for myself and other animals by supporting it.

☆☆☆☆

It's a few days after New Year's Day. Phil McIntyre texts me saying that I don't need to go to anymore recording sessions. Which was good news. I will finally be able to debut. He said that my two stylists will stop by tomorrow for a quick makeover.

Then after my lunch, I get a call from an adoption center to come by tomorrow to meet a few eligible puppies to adopt since I applied for quite a few.

I had to tell them tomorrow might not work since I have to work. The day after that on Sunday was when we should set up the appointment.

Everything was starting to look up.

Or at least I thought.

☆☆☆☆

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 21, 2021 ⏰

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