ariana stayed in her room all day long. she didn't know what to do or how to feel about what happened so far that day. she texted calum on and off all day but he never responded.
to calum
did i do something wrong?
to calum
are you mad at me?
to calum
i wish you would've stayed
to calum
are you coming home soon?
to calum
why haven't you answered my texts or calls?
hours had gone by and before she knew it, it was night time. she hadn't eaten all day, so she finally decided to go downstairs. when she got up and went downstairs, the kitchen was empty. usually all of calum's men would be crowding it, and since they never made her feel welcomed she would have to either go to bed hungry or wait till they left.
as she was searching around in the kitchen for something, she heard the door open and close. the second she turned around, calum was on his way to his office. at first, ariana was just going to let it go at first. but with the way he was just ignoring her texts, and how he practically ran for cover when he came in the door, she couldn't.
she took a deep breath before she made her way to his office. when she opened the door, he looked up and immediately looked back down. ariana shut the door and locked it before slowly approaching his desk.
"hi." she said softly.
"hey." he didn't look up when he spoke.
"i missed you." she admitted. he didn't respond, just continued doing his paperwork.
"are you really just gonna ignore me?" she said with a more stern tone.
"i've been working all day ari—"
"you couldn't have just responded to one? you've been ignoring me all day and i don't understand what i did wrong." she said. calum just sighed and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.
"ariana please, i don't want to talk about this tonight." he begged. "fine...then come to bed with me." she said. he still wouldn't look up at her. "do you not want to come to bed with me?" he could hear it in her voice that she was about to cry, and when he finally looked up, the tears were already there.
"is it her?" ariana asked. "did you see her today, is that what it is?" calum got out of his chair and walked around to meet her, but when he tried to reach out, she pushed his hand away. "no, i didn't see her." calum said.
"then what is it? why have you been pushing me away, i just told you how i felt less than 24 hours ago." ariana cried. "you need someone else. i can't be this person for you." he said.
"we haven't even done anything, and now you want to just throw it all away before it even starts—"
"i'm stopping it before it starts." he said sternly. "i can't...i can't be with you. what happened last night, this morning...it shouldn't have happened." though he didn't mean for it to come out in anger, his tone was strict and firm.
ariana didn't hold back her tears this time. she couldn't keep it in any longer.
"so now i'm just supposed to pretend i don't have feelings for you? walk around the house and act like everything between us is normal." the young girl was slowly becoming hysterical.
"ari, i'm not trying to hurt you. i just—"
"want what's best for me," ariana said. "what if you're what's best for me? it's not like i'd tell my dad or my brothers. im not even expecting you to be my boyfriend." she cried. calum wrapped his arms around her, and even though she didn't want a hug, she didn't push him away.
"please, please i'll do anything." she begged. "i don't want to be alone anymore."
calum couldn't help but feel terrible. he had no idea that those few kisses, and the one night the shared together would cause so much pain. "i can't...it wouldn't be right." he said. he looked down and wiped her tears, though they were flowing like a river.
"but nothing about this is right. the stupid gang shit, all this money, me having to live with you to pay back my father's debt, none of it is right." ariana mumbled. "i know."
neither of them knew what to say. "why don't we uh...head upstairs for the night? i'm getting kind of tired." calum suggested. ariana just nodded and followed him upstairs. just as she was about to turn the corner to go to her room, calum grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him.
"one more night together wouldn't hurt right?" he winked. ariana gave a small smile before walking into his room with him and climbed into his bed. ariana just watched as calum undressed, removing his layers of clothing and settling into some sweats as usual.
"you should take a picture, it'll last longer." he teased. ariana's face turned red in embarrassment. he climbed in bed next to her, but didn't wrap his arms around her like usual.
"this won't be weird for you will it?" calum asked. though ariana knew it would be, she just shook her head no. she wanted to spend these last moments with calum this way before things went back to normal.
"do we really have to stop?" ariana asked. she already knew the answer but of course she still asked. "your safety...is my main priority, and i can do that better if feelings aren't involved." calum said.
"but i really like you." calum just chuckled before he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "trust me...there are better things, better people out there in the world for you than me sweetheart." he said. ariana slowly reached for his hand and intertwined their fingers.
ariana looked down at their hands and teared up. "is that really the reason?" she asked. "you're not just trying to run away from how you feel about me, because it's not like i'm leaving anytime soon. and if you're just trying to—"
"come on, don't do that." calum said, wiping her tears away. calum didn't know what else to say, or how to even change the subject. ariana clearly wasn't going to just let it go.
"just tell me how you really feel, please." she begged. he pulled her to his chest and held her tightly as she sobbed. "i really like you too. the last time i was with michelle, i couldn't stop thinking about you. i'd give anything to truly, be with you. but i know, i'd hurt you more, because i'm not capable of being a boyfriend, let alone someone who has just strong feelings for someone so special like you."
"but what if you do?"
"ariana please...this hurts me, more than it hurts you. we can't be together okay." the two didn't say anything else that night, just sat in silence in each other's arms.
