𝐬𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩? | 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢 ✓

prologue: something's gotta give

October 27th, 2018
Fushiguro Megumi

I never thought that I would actually write in this diary again.

I think that I gave up writing in here after I came here. I didn't see any point in writing because Tsumiki wasn't going to be with me to check everything that I wrote. This was all her idea, after all. She thought that it would help me "sort my feelings out" after she found out what was happening at school. In a way, she had the wrong idea. I wasn't beating those people because I picked on the weak, I did it because I hated those who picked on others. And bullies didn't deserve any forgiveness. But did she really think that I'd willingly write my thoughts and feelings down when she was gone?

I think that maybe she'd smile and say "I told you so!" if she saw me now.

It's not like she was that right. I'm not going to document my life like I'm counting down my days. But with recent events, I've felt the need to keep track of some things since so much is going on at once. We are running around from place to place, making phone calls, and training non stop ever since we got home from the mission. Sure, that's the life of a jujutsu sorcerer. But it's nothing that I've ever experienced before.

About a month ago, Gojo-sensei pulled Kugisaki, Itadori and I aside and told us about what was going on with the higher ups. There wasn't much recent news on Itadori's execution— believe it or not, that wasn't their main priority. It was more so the fact that they felt that there was a traitor among the jujutsu sorcerers.

Gojo made a joke about it being him. I didn't laugh.

But that is just old news. We know who the traitor is now— Mechamaru of the other school. Quite depressing really, even though I never liked him, nor did I know him for long. But the fact that someone I knew was giving information over to a twist minded enemy was really sad. Cause I can't imagine what someone like that would have to do to me in order to get information from the other side.

Something really big is going to happen. I can feel it in the tension at school. I just don't want something to happen so bad, that

Megumi put down his pencil. He turned off the flashlight that illuminated his notebook.

Something so bad, that what?

There were a million things that he could write in the blank. Something so bad, that he couldn't save someone. That there wouldn't be a chance for him to show off his skill. That he would watch a loved one die.

That seemed to be the only thing on his mind in the recent days that lead up to his feeling of dread. It was gruesome, and it was sad. But there was nothing that he could do about the feeling, but let it pass. Even if he was wrong, and everything would be alright, danger was always eminent, and sometimes there was no way to prevent it. All he could do was to train.

Megumi closed the notebook that lied open on his desk. Like he had written, it had been awhile since he had chosen to write in it. But for some odd reason, it was nostolgic and calming to come back to forgotten memories and to relive the moments that you would give anything to come back to. With one last thought, he slipped it in a desk drawer. 

He walked over to his bed. 

Sat down. 

Looked up at the ceiling as he lied down against the pillows, and closed his eyes. 

Even at this hour of the night, Megumi felt guilty that he was not sneaking out of his dorm and training. There was always so much more to do, so many more things to practice with his technique in order to get stronger. It didn't take him much time to make a list of things in his mind that he needed to protect-- people, places, belongings-- all of it came to his mind in a whirl. 

But for just a few minutes, lying down and doing nothing seemed rather calming. It wasn't that he was letting go of all of his responsibilites, but for a moment they could be shoved to the back burner of his mind while he thought of nothing in particular. All of the loud thoughts could take a break, and scream in the back of his mind where they were hard to hear. 

It was almost midnight. He could tell by the light of the moon that was shining through his dorm window. Astrology was something that Tsumiki never stopped talking about, ever since she had that one science section about it in the ninth grade. It was the little things about her, and his life before he was a jujutsu sorceror, that he could remember clearer than anything else. 

He hated to admit it, but ever since the thought of her resurfaced back at the bridge, he really missed her. He missed having someone to lean on.

His thoughts stopped for a moment. In a rush, those complicated thoughts came back again due to that one trigger word.

Because in a way, he did have someone that he could trust. 

Megumi was not considered an average person. He was strong willed, determined, and a fighter, not to mention that he was in jujutsu sorcerer. But even if he didn't want to admit it, he was scared. The curses were planning something big. In all honesty, he didn't really want to know what it was. 

Megumi had devoted himself to exorcising curses, which he didn't have much of a problem with. But he couldn't lie and say that he wasn't afraid.

He could protect himself just fine, but he knew that there was someone who couldn't. It wasn't that they weren't skilled—he was actually much stronger than him. But, the kid was reckless in battle and Megumi feared that he would kill himself by going too far.

He needed to stop worrying about other people. But what was up with that? If he didn't have anything to fight for he would be a dead man.

Yuuji Itadori.

Megumi stared to the left wall, to which the boy he was thinking of resided in his own bed. He was more powerful than any of them, and with Sukuna he could give Gojo a run for his money. Itadori had excelled more in school that he and Kugisaki had, even though they seemed to have more experience when it came to technique and sorcery. He had learned the Black Flash move and completed it more times than Nanami ever had. But ever since he ate that finger, he put himself in danger, almost oblivious to the death and curses that would surely await him in the future.

As Megumi stressed, he sighed in frustration. Because he swore he could hear one of the strongest sorcerers give in to the faintest sounds of snoring.