Of Sorcerors and Spiderwebs: A Peter Parker Series

Chapter Four: Hopeless

After realizing that you're in love with Peter Parker, it feels even harder to drag yourself out of bed to head to school the next morning. Even the sight of him walking towards you from across the crowded hallways of Midtown hurts- you know that no matter how close the two of you become, he'll never see you as anything more than a friend.

In fact, just the simple act of seeing him confirms that you truly love him. You're not sure how you didn't realize it before, but it's glaringly obvious now. When the two of you are paired together for some partner activity in class, you're able to laugh and smile with him as if you've known him your entire life.

That's the easiest thing about Peter- with him, you're able to just live and be whoever you want to be. There aren't any expectations with him- no rules or assumptions or anything. He doesn't presume you to be anything more than yourself. You're not sure anyone's made you feel like that in a long time.

However, things aren't exactly perfect. Now that you're actually paying attention to how you feel about Peter, you're also noticing how Peter feels about other people. Specifically, how he feels about one of his closest friends, MJ. Case in point: whatever's going on with them during this exact lunch one sunny afternoon at Midtown.

Although technically there are four of you at the lunch table, Peter's clearly centered around MJ and MJ alone. He's sitting next to her, leaning over to face her in a way that shuts out everything else around him. They're engaged in some deep conversation about the ethics of neuroscience, something that you happen to know a lot about thanks to Stephen and that you could easily debate along with them. However, you already tried to enter the conversation and were talked over more than a few times, so you've given that up.

You can't exactly blame Peter for being wrapped up in MJ. She's practically perfect for him- she supports him being Spider-Man, she knows enough about his favorite topics to have discussions like the one they're having now, and they both have the perfect blend of shy and talkative that makes them equals. The only problem is that she's not you.

The worst part is that Peter is clearly in love with her. Here's the thing- nobody looks at a girl the way Peter is looking at MJ right now, with that stupid soft smile on his face as she talks and that unnameable expression his eyes, without being in love. You suppose that's why it hurts you so much to see him. It shouldn't, of course, Peter's known MJ for far longer than he's known you and you just arrived at Midtown a few months ago. Yet your heart still feels a painful twinge every time you glance their way.

"You good, Y/N?"

You're broken out of your trance when Ned speaks to you. Blinking once to clear your head, you turn to him. "Yeah, I'm just, uh, considering my plans for the future. I've heard about this really cool opportunity within the different international Sanctums to go out in search of people who could potentially become Masters of the Mystic Arts to monitor them and offer aid if they need it."

What you're talking about isn't a lie- you have heard about this program, and it's been simmering away in the back of your mind for quite some time. You had assumed that you weren't going to act on it, as your life was going very well over in New York, but for once you might be convinced to move away as a nomad for the sorcerers.

Ned looks impressed. "That does sound cool. So you'd basically get to vacation around the world in the name of the Sanctums?" You incline your head, confirming his words. "That's the thing- it sounds amazing. The only thing is, I'd have to apply and I don't know if they'll let me in or not. And, even if they do let me in, I'm just wondering if I would be able to leave all of this behind. It feels like I just got here."

Ned nods. "I mean, I don't really know what to tell you. Wizards-I mean, sorcerers, kind of have a priority of coolness over everything else. I guess you just have to ask yourself what you'd be giving up by leaving, and if you think the pros of the trip would outweigh the cons."