Battle Damage | A CaeJose Story

Caesar

Caesar had been in relationships before. Too many to count. This - whatever this was - did not feel like any of them. Watching the early morning sunlight chase after JoJo's retreating figure stalking back to the mansion, he wasn't even sure who he was irritated at - who he was supposed to feel irritated at.

He tore his eyes away, gloved fists clenching at his sides in useless frustration. Through the ragged hole in the wall at the edge of the arena, a sliver of bright gold sun peeked over the horizon, lighting up the underside of the clouds with streaks of pink and orange. With the thud of his heartbeat in his ears finally hushed, the island was quiet. Caesar took a deep breath and felt exhaustion settle over him. From the hours of fighting, most likely. Or from watching the sunrise after a sleepless night. Or maybe from this thing that had been dragging on him for weeks, working its way through his defenses.

He tried to brush the thought away as he picked his way carefully to the edge of the arena and then to the shore not far beyond it. The hypnotic rush of the waves was the loudest sound, a soothing whisper telling him to stop fighting. He let himself crumple to the sand, watching the light play across the surface of the water.

It should have felt peaceful. It should have felt fucking fantastic, actually. He had passed his final test, and they had one fewer pillarman to go up against. But whatever knot of emotion was bound up inside him, it wasn't calm, and it certainly wasn't the triumph it should have been.

His gaze wandered to the horizon, to the sliver of sun.

I've never seen you hold back like this, Suzie Q's voice said in his head.

Caesar tried to stuff the memory back into the darkened corner it had dared to venture out of.

Which must mean you have feelings for him, she finished. Like, real feelings.

He had plenty of experience with relationships. Hell, even plenty of relationships with the wrong people. The cliches that tripped off his tongue were effortless, not-quite-lies that felt right to both of them, whoever that happened to entail at the moment. But it was always a flare, bright and short-lived. And even on the best nights in Rome, strolling down the cobbled streets with someone on his arm and the music of the city drifting past them, he couldn't bring himself to use the word serious.

This... This felt like a sickness coming on little by little, like a controlled insanity taking over him. The kind that made him replay those all-in smiles that lit up JoJo's face and pulled at the knot somewhere inside his ribcage when Suzie Q said real feelings. The kind that made the divine agony of knowing how badly this would end almost addictive.

Caesar let his head drop into his hands to rake his fingers through his hair, reality crashing back down on him. What was he doing? Sitting on the beach watching the sunrise, pining over that oblivious idiot? The same one who had had the audacity to insist he had everything under control in the arena?

Ugh.

Caesar pulled himself to his feet, leaving the waves and the watercolor sky and the useless ruminating behind him. The exhaustion had become a dull ache through his limbs, but he started back toward the mansion, trying not to think about facing JoJo again. Maybe he would simply avoid him. Or maybe he would shout, and Caesar could shout back, and it would be like those first few days he had known him, before this weakness had taken over him -

He knew as soon as he set foot in the entryway that something was wrong.

The bite of adrenaline chased away exhaustion. His mind grabbed at details as he darted up the stairs. A vase knocked over there. A trail of slime up the stairs. Shouting voices echoing down the hall. Lisa Lisa's room. He turned sharply at the top of the stairs, footsteps ringing out on marble as he dashed down the hall. Idiota! Sitting on the beach while Lisa Lisa was here with the Stone -

He wrenched open the door, hamon flickering weakly around his hands.

The balcony was a mess. Blood and unidentified slime dripped from the marble pillars that supported the roof above, and a large bathtub had been tipped over, spilling bubbles across the stone. Suzie Q lay unconscious on the floor, her skin pockmarked with wounds. JoJo and Lisa Lisa stood above her, out of breath, the latter wearing only a towel. She frowned at him standing in the doorway.

"Caesar, where have you been?"

Caesar's gaze flickered momentarily to JoJo before he could stop himself, trying to come up with an answer that didn't involve brooding hopelessly over your son.

Lisa Lisa waved a hand. "Never mind, it doesn't matter. Suzie Q will be alright, but they have the Stone."

"They - what?"

"Esidisi wasn't quite finished with. It's on a boat headed for the mainland as we speak."

Caesar straightened in the doorway, letting the hamon flicker out around his hands as they dropped back to his sides. He glanced around the scene on the balcony before his eyes returned to JoJo, who had been looking pointedly elsewhere.

"Well," Caesar said, because his willpower wasn't enough, because the bitterness was leaking out. "Seems you didn't need my help after all."

JoJo met his gaze, and in the shadow his sea-blue eyes held a defiance and anger Caesar still could not explain. "Seems we didn't."

Happy pride month!

 - Wesley H.