Maybe One Day

Chapter 16

We wake up to the sunrise the next morning and I regret it. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be doing this. Our conversation did not justify or clarify anything and I'm even more confused. We pack up our things and head for the car. Kaeden tries to make conversation, but I'm distant and my answers are short.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired."

He keeps driving knowing very well that was a lie. He drops me off then drives home. I get inside and immediately go to my room, my parents weren't awake yet, thank god. I slept for a couple more hours then spent the rest of the day packing.

I'm just so conflicted. I want to be with Kaeden so bad, but I'm leaving in a week and probably never coming back to Bridgewood depending on how soccer goes over there. We're on different paths and if long-distance didn't work as friends, it probably wouldn't work as more. But I can't lose him. My packing gets interrupted when my dad walks into my room.

"Hey buddy, wanna come with me and Uncle Cato ax throwing?"

"I have a lot of packing to do," I say faintly.

"I think you need a break. Besides, I need your help to pick up some wood stain, you don't necessarily have an option."

"Okay."

We get into the truck and pick up wood stain at my Uncle's store. Yes, Bridgewood is that small. My Uncle Cato gives me a big hug, then gets in the truck. He used to babysit me when I was younger and would come to all my soccer games. I remember how he would tell everyone how I would become a professional someday. Who would've thought that he was right?

"I'm so proud of my little niece! She's going to kill it! Oh, can I get your autograph?" He asks as he passes me his Chelsea jersey and a sharpie. He was always a big fan of them.

"Ha-ha, sure Uncle Cato."

We get to the ax-throwing place and line up in our stall. As my uncle was retrieving axes my dad turns to me.

"Your mom told me about your situation with Kaeden. She's a bit of gossip you know."

"Yeah." I laugh.

"Look, if you ever need anything, I'm here for you. I know you and mom are close, but I'm your dad and I want to help too."

"I appreciate it."

We continue throwing for a couple more rounds and I just couldn't get out of my head. I was so stuck on Kaeden. I was even contemplating if I should just drop Sweden to be with him, but can feelings even be that strong? I would regret that, surely.

"How did you know mom was 'the one'?" I ask.

"Oh, that's easy," he replies as he throws an ax, "you just know."

"Really?" I roll my eyes.

"Really," he continues, "but, I would have to say that I knew because what I feel for her is rare and I would not be able to feel that with anyone else. I didn't have to fight anything because it felt real and it felt right."

I love that. I also love how he said 'feel' not even 'felt' because his feelings are all still there. They never left. What I've felt for Kaeden was in the past and just resurfaced, but I lost those feelings. And, no matter how deep these feelings are and how strongly they are, it's just not enough to make huge sacrifices or go through intensely complicated matters. I may just have to let him go. Permanently.