❝ 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 ❞ - 𝐁𝐲 𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 ✔

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐒𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭

Lovely - Billie Eilish, Khalid

______________________

I could still hear the sounds.. outside.. what's.. happening?

I was alone.. They left.. finally...

I couldn't move.. It.. hurts..

"SEARCH THE ROOMS! NOW! "

This... voice. It can't be..

"You can't barge into our house like this." my brother shouted at the familiar intruder.

Oh.. No.. Please.. Don't do anything to him..

"We found him. He's not.. in a good condition.." It was a cop.

I could feel the footsteps running towards me.

I looked up weakly.

Seojun.

He was looking at me with those eyes. He was.. crying...

"Don't.. cry.. It's okay.. I.. am not hurt.. "

He held my body against his chest being careful that I didn't get hurt.. I could see the tears.. in his eyes..

Don't cry.. for me..... I don't want you to get hurt..

I don't deserve you...

"I am sorry..I am so sorry.." He said while crying...

I don't deserve your kindness...

How? How did this fucking happen?

I should have never left him... alone. It's all my fault.

Damn it!

I looked at him. His eyes didn't show any emotions.. His body was covered in bruises and blood..

I need to take him to the hospital first..

I carried him in my arms and took him to the car...

"Take me home.. "

"What? We need to go to the hospital first.. You need to get treated first.."

" JUST TAKE ME HOME DAMN IT! I need a moment to myself.."

He was shocked. This is the first time I shouted at him..

I am sorry.. But I can't do this..

He kept quiet for a while and said..

"The house is on the way.. We can stop for some time.. I'll bring your clothes.. But after you finish, we will go straight to the hospital. I don't want to hear anything else on this matter." He was serious.

But it doesn't matter anymore.. does it?

I looked outside the window. The sky looked darker than usual as if it was hiding the faint stars that guided it's path..

After a while, we stopped infront of our house..

I went inside while limping and reached the bathroom..

I locked the door and..fell on the floor..

I couldn't feel anything anymore..

My body felt weak but the numbness in my chest didn't allow me to feel anything...

My back was still bleeding from the cuts but I can't do this anymore..

This pain.. this endless pain..

It won't ever end...

But...

I deserved.. all of this..

I have been running from my past.. just to make myself feel better..

But I can't... not anymore..

I was the reason he died..

I let him die...

Everyone around me will get hurt..

Seojun will too..

There's no reason.. for me to be here...

I am sorry..

I tried..

Please remember I tried..

There were no tears... anymore..

I opened the drawer to bring out the familiar looking object..

I need to do this..

I let the cold blade pierce through my wrist oozing the blood out my veins..

Three more..

And a vertical one...

Done...

I could see the cuts and the blood all over my hand. I let go of the blade.. And sat on the floor..

"Suho?"

"It's hurts.. " I blurted out unconsciously but almost immediately covered my mouth with my other hand..

"Suho? Suho..What are you doing? OPEN THE DOOR! " He said while holding and turning the knob of the handle.

I am sorry...Seojun.

Please be happy...