❝ 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 ❞ - 𝐁𝐲 𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 ✔

𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐧

Hold on - Chord Overstreet

(A/n : this song goes perfectly with this chapter and the lyrics are beautiful. I highly recommend listening to this while reading.)

-

"Suho.. Plea-please just open the door... "

"I am sorry.. Seojun.. But I can't do this.. not anymore.. "

What? Don't tell me...

"No.. Please..listen to me.. We can talk about this.. Please just let me in.. "

"I can't.. I am sorry.. But this..is for the best.. "

"No.. Please I need you.. I need you to be with me.. "

He needs me.

No... He doesn't.

" No. You don't..need me.. You will only get hurt because of.. me.. I won't be able to live while seeing.. you get hurt.. please.. You have your own life.. and family.. I can't let you destroy.. your life for me.."

I was trying my best to hold back myself.

I am sorry. I am so sorry..

I tried but I can't..

Everything hurts..

When will this... stop!?

"Please listen to me. Please. Just open the door. I want to see you."

"I love you Seojun. I love you so much. I wish things would have been better...for both of us.. I am so lucky to have met you..I am so grateful for all of things you have done for me..I am never gonna forget them.. you will forever be there in my heart..you will forever be a part of me..Thank you for everything.." I said while sobbing silently.

Fuck! Why is this sounding like..

" This is not a goodbye..you are not going anymore.. You will be here..with me.. You will walk and go through life with me..  " He said while hitting the door..

" I never wanted you to get involved in this mess.. It's my fault.. I don't want you to get hurt.. It's okay.. I was so happy to be with you.. But.. I hope we can meet again.. someday.. "

"Suho.. Listen to me.. I want to be with you.. To protect you.. I need you please.. If you really think about me please open the door..I don't want to live my life without you..Please let me into your heart.. Please bubba?" he said while kicking the door in an attempt to break it.

That was it.

My breaking point..

I couldn't hold back anymore. My hands were trembling...

Those words were enough to destroy the wall I had kept for so long, shattering it into little pieces like it was nothing but a thin piece of glass waiting to break apart someday..

I was not alone..

I finally let out the words I was too afraid to say before...

" Seojun.. Please help me.. "

And that was enough for him to kick open the door.

He instantly moved his gaze towards me and froze.

His eyes showed an unknown darkness. It felt like he was drowning..

No.. He really..

He tried to kill himself..

I held him in his arms being careful that he doesn't get hurt. I let my tears rush through my cheeks.. I can't lose him.. Please..

"Don't go... "

"I- I am sorry.. I am so sorry Seojun.. Please for-forgive me.."

"Ssh.. It's okay.. Everything's okay now.. I am here.. "

I tried so hard to not have a mental breakdown in front of him.

I need to be strong for now. It's not the time..

"I.. I don't want you.. to go.. away.. just like... Him... "

I have been hiding myself for so long but I can't anymore..

" I won't bubba.. Let's go through this together..okay? "

He nodded gently before his head fell on my hands, motionless.

"NO"