Ladies and Gentlemen, She... The love of my life

Today.....

             All alone on a chilled winter evening, sitting near the beach. It was 8:45 pm on my watch. I felt a calm tap on my shoulder. When I turned to check, there was no one. Quite creepy. I looked around. There were only some coconut trees and few sweet vendors selling 'rasgullas'( a very famous Indian sweet). A few other people were sitting at a distance. I again stared at the setting sun.

A cool wind blew through me. The dazzling reflection of the resplendent beauty of the moon when fell on the silently raging waves of the dancing ocean combined with the aroma of Jasmine flowers made all my memories, all the moments I spent with her so alive, so real just in front of my eyes. Spectacular. I guess It was magic.

Nature witnesses change every moment but amazingly makes us realize that nothing has changed and everything is beautiful. So much optimism in this sentence. She always used to say this. 

Anyways, I am Madhav Jha, a English language professor. A poet too but secretly just for her, my wife. These days have been really cruel to me. I faced unwanted loss. My heart aches every time I think about it. It depresses me. It desolates me. An unbelieved change happened. She died. As people say, she is no more. My whole body shivers whenever I hear this. Even with a house, I became homeless. Now I was in search of a home. So, I came to nature. I was in search of a harmonious existential condition but everything that disturbed my harmony took place. Even nature reminds me she is no more. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to run from all this and reach her. Nothing makes me smile. I feel absolutely alone in this worldly crowd. A soulless body indeed. In this valley, I was desolate. Nowhere to go.No destination at all.

I loved her. She was my world. She was the reality. She was my imagination. She was my everything. Where do I go now? Where should I go now? Absolutely answerless questions in my mind. It is too harsh for me to believe what people said just like that. She's crazy, a profound mixture of madness and maturity; emotional as well as fun. She was mine. My maa used to tell us we fight like kids but amidst those cute as well as serious fights, the ocean of love was always flowing protected with a delicate soft cover made up of threads of moonlight.