Ladies and Gentlemen, She... The love of my life

Last words.

She was in the hospital. Our daughter was sent to her aunt's house. Noor was just five years old. How could she see all this? I used to meet her every day in the same hospital room during the meeting time. Her family met her. I met her. She laid unconscious in the bed. She was suffering. I was too. The pain for her was unbearable. So was for me. Every day I looked at her and tears fell from my eyes. I prayed to god. I begged for her and went home hopelessly.

And on the day of our anniversary, my phone rang. I picked it up, heard, and collapsed. I got up after ten seconds and locked my house, took my car, and drive hospital. I saw them. I saw them all taking her away. I ran again. But, I didn't know where I was running to. I came to the seashore and sat. My watch showed 8:45 pm. Though people saw me there as a man sitting. But inside of me was a volcanic eruption of grief.

I looked at the sea and mumbled," You promised me we will spend every evening of this day here, on this beach. You didn't keep it. See, you broke it. Were not you the one who never broke promises? Now what ? ha?"

I heard a voice and tears flew through my eyes.

The same voice that said" Good morning honey, Rise and shine ", with a warm smile every morning. I looked back. It no one else. I was she. My Urmilla.

The same shine and delight in her eyes, lovely smile on lips, wearing my favorite blue saree of hers. She sat beside me and said, "I kept it, dear ".I looked at her. It was as if a thirsty madman of desert saw a fresh flowing river. This was beyond reality.

"Damn, what's this game you are playing. You know they said I could no longer see you. You are not anymore. They said I could not talk to you. All were wrong. You are here. I am here. We are here together."I said and hugged her and held her hand tight and made it clear never to let go of her.

She smiled, she said, "I am always here with you".I said silently"But they say you are dead." I couldn't control my tears and started crying like a baby. She held me, hugged me, and said"There is nothing like death.No one dies. All stay alive someway or other. I am alive in my deeds, in our moments, in our home. Trust me I will always be with you holding your hands." 

I didn't want this to end. I wanted to stay like this. In her arms, forever.

The sun started waking up, the moon drowned. This made me realize the night was over

Yes, the night was over.

She said, "Dawn, it's happening, Hey, promise me you will complete that diary I gave you."She smiled. I nodded my head and smiled. We were holding hands.I felt I was losing grip. She was looking at me. I made nodded my head and continuously mumbled"No, Please no . Stay . Please No. She smiled and placed her palm on my chest and said "I live here".I could hear my heartbeat loud enough as if they were trying to hold her too. She kept her head over my shoulders and said " Tell Noor about us. I am always there right next to you, Now take a deep breath and smile."

Cool breeze lapped our faces.

The boundaries of our personalities slowly dissolved.

It was a moment of rare, immutable joy-

A moment for which one feels gratefully to life and death.

It felt as if the line blurred, the line between me and my Urmilla.

It was 4:00 am on my watch. I was feeling better. I started walking by the beach.