Not Just A Friend

I Try To Smile

Tw: bad language, mention of death

[Peter's POV]

I wake up to the annoying beeping of my alarm.

7 am... Great. I got less than two hours of sleep last night. I was up all night doing homework. Well, I was trying to do homework. For english class, we have to write about somebody that inspires us. We were told to pick the most inspiring person we could think of, so stupid me picked Mr. Stark. Do you know how hard it is to write an essay on your dead father figure? Dead... Shit...

It's only been a few weeks since he died. So far I've had to draw him for art class, write a letter to one of his family members for english, and now I'm writing an essay on how great he was.

For art class, I tried to draw him in his suit. I figured it would be easier than drawing out facial features. I ended up just not turning anything in. Every time I tried to start the project, I just ended up getting mad and ripping it up. With the little amount of art skills I have, nothing I ever draw will be enough for him.

For the letter, I wrote to Morgan. It was stupid and probably didn't comfort her like it was supposed to, but at least it was something... It was a little easier to write to her, since she's going through the same thing as me. Only, Mr. Stark actually was her dad... I hope I can be there for her, you know in some way...

Now, I have to write this stupid essay. It's due on Friday. Which means I have four days to write it...

I pull myself out of bed. All I want is to curl up and go back to sleep. When you're sleeping you don't feel anything. Just darkness... That's kinda what it's felt like for the past five years, but now all of a sudden I have to be thrown back into reality. The reality where life is shit and you don't even get a chance to breathe, because you're too busy moving from one tragedy to another.

"Morning Peter!" May smiles at me and I try, I really do try, but I just can't smile back. Not today.