Becoming Wanted

Chapter 78: One Message

I finished that day before Mere or Ben got back. That's been the pattern. Until today.

I can hear the door slam downstairs as I continue to shovel the end of the toothbrush down my throat. I try to finish and brush my teeth, with a different toothbrush, but Mere comes up before I have a chance to flush the toilet.

Her eyes are big with hurt as I look at her. She walks out without another word.

I feel the whole inmpact slap my in the face of what Mere is probably thinking. 'I failed. As a mother and a friend.' I start to hear her crying through the walls. Hearing her only makes me start to cry harder.

I can't stop myself I take out my phone and message the one person that tried to make contact with me for the last couple of days. 'I need you,' is the only thing I can think before I hit send and it's out.

That only makes me feel worse. I'm crawling back to a person that threw me to the wind.

Crawling, I make it to the bathroom and to the set of drawers under the sink. Yanking one open my hand searches for the cold metal I'm craving. Finally it does, my fingers curling around it, feeling the egde.

Then, before I know it I'm gone. My feeling had taken control of my body and arms.

~~~

I watch the blood trickle down from my arm to the tile floor. I almost feel drunk as I can barely understand what's going on. I sit there leaning against the wall next to the door. Someone's going to walk in before I can clean up my mess. Forcing myself off the floor and to the sink. Washing them out I see the water turn a deep shade of red.

I never thought it could get this bad. And all for a boy. A boy that clearly didn't think of me the same way I thought about him.

After a few minutes the water turns clear. I wrap my arms in gaze as I apply some cream to hopefully help them heal. Grabbing a towel I start to clean up the blood from the floor.

I finish and wash the towel so no one has to know. Walking out only now do I realize that I was in the bathroom for almost three hours. Now, they're going to know something's up.

Flopping on to my bed I pull on a sweatshirt to cover my arms, not cause I'm hot.

I pick up my phone and ignore his messages. I was so stupid to message him in the first place. I look through the calender and see that AGT is the next week.

A smile comes across my face remembering how Ben said he would take me this time.

I stay in my room for the rest of the day eventually falling asleep, before the sun can even set.