Samut Nalir's Miraculous Elixir of Life

Chapter 4

Despite all my efforts, brewing the potion proved a lot more difficult than I had first expected.  There were so many steps that I had never taken into account.  I would start a step by trying all but in vain to decipher the handwritten instructions, and when I finally did, the better half of them made no sense to me whatsoever.

There were a few times when I actually debated asking Lapis for house, but these thoughts I immediately dismissed as idiotic.  If she didn't even want me anywhere near when she was brewing flower-growing potions, she would no doubt be livid to discover that I had gone through her things and was trying to make such a strong elixir.

There also remained the fact that I would have to explain how I was managing it.  See, shortly after I had decided to dip my own hand into the art of potion-making, I had a copy made of the key to the back room, courtesy of one of my friends in my former trade.  Now that Lapis had returned from her abscence, I reserved myself to sneaking in at night to get whatever ingredients and materials I needed.  The actual brewing of the Elixir of Life was confined to my room, where, thankfully, my hostess gave me perpetual peace.

Now, I was no expert, but I could be pretty certain that this was the most complicated potion ever devised.  The instructions were rigid, counting tenths of milliliiters and timing steps down to the second.  My biggest qualm during this entire process was that I had aroused Lapis' suspicion when I'd leave my station at the counter on the spur of the moment, run upstairs, and return minutes later as though I'd never left at all.

Still, I couldn't help but think that I was doing something wrong.  Or, more precisely, a lot of things wrong.  I had no definite means of making accurate measurements, for one thing, and I was probably lucky that none of my haphazard guesses proved disastrous.  There was also the fact that many of the ingredients in the recipe were, as I learned from an herbology encyclopedia I had stolen from the back room, nearly impossible to find, and even harder to buy.  I tried subtituting for some of the ingredients the book suggested, but it didn't seem to do any good.

The result of several weeks' work was a grave disappointment.  The flask containg the "elixir of life" contained an unappetizing green-gray sludge, lumpy in some places due to ingredients that had failed to dissolve, and runny in others from some that had dissolved too well.  Besides this, the potion had an odor as strong as the one coming from the back room, and much more revolting.

Somehow, I doubted that this was how the Elixir of Life was meant to turn out.

This, however, didn't shake me too much.  I wanted that potion, and I wanted it badly.  The best I could think to do was start over.  So, one night, when I was certain that I heard Lapis' soft snores in the adjoining room, I slipped downstairs to get what I needed from the back room.

It shouldn't have taken very long.  I already knew which ingredients I needed, and where they were.  No, the problem was that there were so many things that I needed, and I was stupid enough to try to get all of them in one trip.  If I hadn't done so, then I wouldn't have dropped the bottle of wormwood and jar of monkshood, and they wouldn't have smashed loudly on the floor, and Lapis wouldn't have heard the noise and woken.

As it was, I did just that, and I froze as I heard her bed creak upstairs.  Thinking fast, I placeed the ingredients quickly back onto their shelves-- whether or not they were in the right place was the least of my concerns; I then kicked the shards of glass out of sight.  I was about to run back into the shop to hide, but I heard footsteps making their way down the stairs, so that wouldn't fare well.  Instead, I squeezed myself into an empty cabinet near the floor, and tried to close the door as far as it would go from where I was pulling at it.

Lapis came into the room a breath's length after I had hidden.  I watched her through the small space left from the ajar cabinet door.  She was dressed in a pale nightgown, and held a candle to the room, closely examining every shadow; I didn't dare to breath.  Her eyebrows rose after a moment, and she turned back to the door.

For a short moment, I wondered why the door had caught her attentiong.  It was all I could do to keep from gasping when I realized it.  I hadn't locked the door.  All the other evidence I had hidden meant nothing.  Lapis had locked that door herself right before going to bed; of course it was suspicious to find it unlocked.

"Samut!" she called out, so suddenly that I started and banged my head into the top of the cabinet.  It was lucky that a laden cart passed under the window at that very minute, excusing the sound.  "Samut!  Get down here! Someone's broken in!  Samut!"  She ran out of the room.

I pushed the door of the cabinet open wide, then rolled out, swearing under my breath and rubbing my throbbing head.  But I didn't have time to sit around.  If Lapis went into my room, that was the end of it; she was sure to fire me on the spot, and that would include spilling my entire history to the authorities.

I collected myself and ran through the shop and up the stairs.  I was too late.  Lapis had beaten me to my room, and, even as I stood in the doorway, mouth agape, was examining the contents of the flask I had carelessly left out.

"Lapis!" I gasped at her, "Listen, I can explain!"

"Oh, I can't wait to hear it," she replied, setting the flask down carefully.

"Okay, but first, promise me that you won't fire me.  Please, Lapis, I worked for you.  I'm your friend, Lapis!  You can't seriously turn me in now!"

"Nice speech.  The explanation, please." She crossed her arms.

I took a deep breath and tried to explain, in a way that hopefully didn't make me look the villain, how I had taken an interest in potion-making, and used her resources to try it for myself.  "I had found this recipe for an Elixir of Life.  An Elixir of Life, Lapis!  I don't know why you never tried to brew it before!  But, anyway, I thought that-- why are you smiling?"

For a mischievous grin had spread across her face.  It was the same grin that had adorned her the first day she "persuaded" me to work for her, and it had the same unnerving effect.  "What is it?"

"Can I see that recipe you mentioned?" she asked lightly.  Perplexed, I pulled it from my pocket and handed it to her.  "Ah, I thought so," she said after a single glance.

"You thought what?"

Lapis casually folded the paper and pocketed it, then returned her gaze to me, grinning more broadly than ever.  "You remember when I told you that my whole family is made up of potion-brewers?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, some of us are... better than others.  Some of my relatives really don't know the first thing about brewing.  My Aunt Kafina was one of them.  Oh, she tried her best, she really did.  But I think all of her potions ended up simply as very obvious poisons.  That didn't stop her from trying, though.  In fact, she even tried to invent her own potions, with some pretty extreme effects."

My stomach turned to knots.  "Erm, this Elixir of Life.  Is it one of your Aunt Kafina's potions?"

She nodded, then burst out laughing.  "It's not funny!" I fumed over her laugh.  "I spent weeks working night and day on that muck!"

"You deserved it," she said cheerfully.  "That's what you get for using my potion supplies without asking!  Don't worry, though," she cleared her throat and sobered herself, "I'll take that for punishment.  I'm not going to turn you in for anything anytime soon.  Quite the contrary, actually."

"Yes?" I asked hopefully, the slight relief nodded entirely eliminating the fury.

"You really want to learn how to brew that badly?"

"Absolutely!"

"Then, fine, we'll do it," she said simply, starting to move toward the door.  "I think you've proven your enthusiasm, if nothing else.  We can start tomorrow, if you'd like."  She reached the door, then turned and said in an afterthought, "Just promise that none of your other potions are going to turn out as disgusting as your Elixir of Life."

"You have my word," I said, shoving the potion into a drawer; I didn't want to dump it for fear of its effects.  "Just so long as you don't give me anything written by your mad aunt."

Lapis smiled one last time before darting out of my room.  I sank exhaustedly onto my bed, still not entirely sure what had just happened.  Whatever it was though, I had avoided any trouble, and for the time being, that was quite enough.