𝗛𝗲𝗿 𝗘𝗻𝗱𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗠𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗰: #1

Prologue

If tired was a wholesome word I would be glad to use it everyday as I walk myself to the world.

They say you just need to believe in yourself and your vision of the future. You need to surround yourself with those who believe in you and will help you achieve your goals. 

However, what if you don't need them? What if you only need yourself to pursue your dreams?

There will be always that someone who will try to steal your laughter, your smiles and freedom.

“I need to change,” I said as I packed my things.

Things gonna change now, the younger me will be the older self I will try to chase.

I'm packing my things by the way, I'm having my own condo for now. Sino ba ang gustong magtanong pang ilan ko nang lipat to dahil kay kuya? Damn it.  Imagine, a sixteen years old Girl na simplangera noon may condo na ngayon? Oh diba? Haha!

I don't have dreams. Even this! I don't need this. Gusto ko nalang matulog sa amin ngayon keysa mag impake.

I wanna soothe the moment while I'm still young and free. The warmth of being loved by my Kuya, tsk. Kakaiba magmahal. Kaya naman minsan pag sinasabi ko sa sarili ko ako lang ang nakakaintindi dito... nandiyan si Kuya.

Kahit minsan, naghahanap ako ng boyfriend... kahit nag dedelusyon ako na my telephone would rang every night. Wala! Andiyan si Kuya.

“Kuya? Aren't you gonna help me with these? Ikaw nagdesisyon nito. Thank you still, for making these,” turo ko. “Happen.” nagbuntong-hininga naman ako.

“Shit, you're already a big girl na Jasmine princess ko,” nag-sad face pa siya at tumawa. “I'm doing this for you din naman baby, just be okay always ha? I loved you and will love you always. I will miss the sunday morning and everyday bonds he—” napatigil siya sa sinasabi. “Nadaldal na si Kuya, sorry po.”

Nakita niya kasi akong nagbuntong-hininga kaya tinigil niya ang pagsasalita. “Kuya, don't be dramatic,” sabi ko.

"Yeah," pahayag niya sabay gulo sa buhok ko. "Fvck ako nalang mag-isa kasama si mommy," sabay pout niya at tumingin sakin na parang nanghihinayang.

I can't live with mom, with her around. Even though I can't cook using my hands, or without those lavish meals, pwede namang matuto. I can fucking learn without her.

We can learn. I can learn.

"Kuya?" I asked, while looking at him harshly, "Those words? Why do you kept on saying them? I told you to watch your language," I said while fixing my things. I sighed and looked at him.

He nodded, "Baby girl sorry na okay," He pouted and hugged me, "But to be honest and as your brother I'm gonna miss you, I can't talk to the wall you know?"

I laughed at his response. He was looking at me, glaring. He can make me laugh without doing those corny efforts what older brothers do. Hindi na ako hahanap ng kuya pa, kasi mahal na ako ni Kuya.

“We're gonna see each other pa naman kuya, I mwa mwa you.” I said while smiling intently.

"I love you too princess," He kissed my temple and looked at me intently. "Remember your promise. Wag na wag kang magpapaligaw, kasi para kang unggoy kung umiyak!" he faintly laughed as he stopped when he saw me looking at him dangerously.

"Haha!" tawa ko pa ng peke. "Oo, wag mo nang ipaalala, playboy. Kung ako sakali ang girlfriend mo, matagal na kitang pinatay dahil sa karupukan mo," I said nonchantly. Binatukan niya ako, "A-aray!"

"Your mouth! Grabe kana magsalita ngayon. Hindi naman kasi sila seryoso kaya ayun."

"Duh! Sabihin mo, hindi ka kuntento," sagot ko sa kaniya habang nagpipigil ng tawa. Lumunok muna siya bago pinitik yung noo ko. "Iiyak ka? Dali kukuha ako ng camera," Ngayon hindi ko na napigilan ang mga tawa ko, kusa ng silang lumabas.