To be LOVED - (BTS- One-sided Yoonkook) [COMPLETED]

The sound of my Shattering Heart

Only if Jungkook hadn't have eavesdropped, only if he wouldn't have gone to see Jin Hyung after saying he won't be playing games with him today, only if he had come back when he found Yoongi and Jin were having a private conversation!

He would still be living in Ignorant Bliss! His heart wouldn't have been shattered! 

He wouldn't be feeling this way... His heart ached like never before... He wanted to yell at himself as He already knew that Yoongi didn't feel the same way, then why he still had hoped? 

Jungkook wanted to turn the time back, so he could avoid listening to how Yoongi really felt.

Jungkook sobbed as the words echoed in his head. 

-x-

Jungkook thought he would be able to sleep quickly today that's why he denied it when Jin asked him he wanted to play games with him, but here he was tossing and turning on his bed. Finally, Jungkook decided he will go and check if Jin was still awake and willing to play.

He was about to yell out for Jin when he heard a screeching noise from  the room, "Hyung..."Jungkook could hear Yoongi whining over the loud and unpleasant noise, Yoongi wasn't spending his night in the studio today as Jungkook thought,  Jungkook's heart did a flip happily at the thought that he might be able to spend the night chatting with his Hyung, as normally Jin used to doze off in between their long talks.

"Yah! It's not like I love that sound. But we need to join the beds."Jin said before jumping on the bed, with a half-open door to the room Jungkook could see Jin dressed up in his Pink Pajama's while Yoongi walked around their joined beds in Black shorts and a plain black oversized t-shirt carrying a big bag of chips in one hand and juice in other, "Come on Yoongi-chii!! Get over here quick!"Jin pouted holding out the blanket, giving him a cute face inviting Yoongi to sit next to him. 

"Don't call me that, JIN."Yoongi said flushing red and dropping honorifics, as he got inside the blanket handing Jin the bag of chips and juice. "Hah...! whom are you kidding I know you love it when I call you that" Jin smirked covering Yoongi with the blanket properly, Jin knew the younger boy liked being taken care of and Jin enjoyed taking care of his shy dongsaeng as well.

"It's been so long since we watched a movie like this right?" Jin chirped happily resting his head on Yoongi's shoulder, "True, we have been so busy to take out time for ourselves." Yoongi sighed. "YOU have been busy... even when I tell you to come and sleep, you decide to spend nights in the studio, how rude is that? I mean it almost feels like I don't have a roommate. I mean how can someone choose a studio over ME?!"Jin pouted angrily facing Yoongi, "Oh come on Hyung! Now don't be angry. We should spend the whole night by ourselves enjoying the time we are getting instead of fighting, just like we used to."Yoongi said pouting, to which Jin melted.

Jungkook knew he shouldn't interrupt his hyungs now, It was true, they didn't get time to spend together with Jin taking care of everyone and Yoongi spending his majority of time in the Studio,  He remembers how Jin told him that he wants to watch movies with Yoongi and talk about a lot of stuff with Yoongi as he missed all those little quality time they used to spend together before. Jungkook felt  Jealous, but there wasn't anything he could do, he knew he should probably go back to his room but... he stayed there watching and listening to the duo.

"Do you remember how Jungkook and you used to be inseparable Yoongi-chii? he used to copy everything you used to do- look good he turned out to be, you did a good job raising the kid!" Jin said out of the blue as they watched the movie, making Jungkook interested in the conversation, "It's not like only I took care of him, the majority of the time it was you, plus you guys are still inseparable aren't you?"Yoongi said resting his head over Jin's to which he hummed.

"Hyung? Don't you think Jungkook tries avoiding me? some times he even looks mad at me, Do you possibly know what all this is about?"Yoongi asked hesitantly, and Jungkook hated himself for putting Yoongi through it, "Maybe it's because the live before?"He continued just to be cut in between by Jin, "It was a decade ago Yoongi, and how many times do I need to tell you it wasn't your fault if people think like that. Plus you know they like shipping members together, so stop thinking that you ruined his image or anything... they would have still done it- They still ship us with other members and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it."Jin said softly taking Yoongi's hands in his. "But maybe Jungkook took it seriously? after all it is kind of gross to think about us being together, I mean he is like my Dongsaeng obviously he is grossed out as well... but I just wished it didn't strain our friendship as that" Yoongi sighed.

 "hmmm... I don't think it is because of the rumor and ships honestly, I don't know what it is about. Jungkook is still a kid, maybe it's just like what happens in parent-kid relationships?"Jin replied as he faced Yoongi, "You mean something like generation- gap is it? That might just make sense... yeah you might be, right? Maybe I am too much like my own dad" Yoongi smiled at his  little joke, "But I have already called dibs for Jungkook being my son."Jin said raising his brows, "Hah! No way! Jungkook is going to be like my firstborn to me. My kids are going to call him Hyung!"Yoongi played along with Jin, filling the room with laughter covering up the sound of Shattering Heart on the Door.

Jungkook felt like his world collapsed in front of him in seconds and there was nothing he could do. He had to stay there and watch as his little dream crumble bit by bit.

Jungkook doesn't know how he dragged himself to his room, He made sure that he locked the door, not being able to take a step ahead Jungkook went weak on his knees, the pain crushed his heart so much that it felt like it would explode!

Jungkook knew he wasn't going to get a happy ending! But knowing didn't reduce the pain, not even a bit! 

Jungkook cried, hating himself for screwing up things not just for him, but for members and most importantly for his Yoongi Hyung!

-x-

Jungkook woke up, realizing he has passed out near the door only- he decided to look in the mirror before heading out- the puffed-up face and bloodshot puffy eyes on that, messed-up hair and body that ached all over, Jungkook looked just the way he felt- pathetic and miserable.

Jungkook decided today wasn't the day he could go on pretending, he made a call to his manager calling it a sick day, he decided to take some meds and sleep in.

-x-

Jungkook was doing fine! He felt numb but it was still better than days he spent locked in his room crying! Jungkook wasn't a kid, he knew even if he was in pain he cannot stop working, and he cannot afford to make the members worried about him, that would be a blunder.

So, he decided to take up the easiest way to handle his pain- to work! Just like Yoongi did, and he was coping up just fine- until the stupid lie detector game happened!

And now here he was crying his eyes out again, telling how miserable he felt to his friends while they cried with him. Jungkook knows there is nothing they can do, but their support still meant a lot. He made it clear that no one else, absolutely no one else could know about this.

The duo understood where all of it came from very well, They could simply not risk pushing Yoongi, knowing how his guilt would eat him up, making them agree without any further argument.

The affection that gave him a bit of hope turned out to be Parental and brotherly love- Jungkook didn't know how to handle himself while Yoongi showered him with his love and care anymore!

Jungkook knew no one can help him, even the tinge of hope he had was gone! 

Jungkook decided to accept his fate as it was, Jungkook decided to accept that his love life was a gone case.