Locked, Loaded, Loved ✔️ COMPLETE | UNDER EDITS

Chapter 4.2--Natasha

I woke up a few hours after all the excitement and went down to the pool for a morning swim. I knew I was gonna have to tell Bucky about me and Steve eventually, but I didn't want to think about it. I dove into the water to clear my head. Somehow, I'd have to fake it. I had hidden my feelings for Steve for such a long time, hiding them from Bucky should be easy. Except, of course, that he was Steve's oldest friend and knew most of my darkest secrets. And then there was the fact that he was my ex.

After my swim, I climbed out of the pool and headed for the door, when I heard my phone buzz. It was Clint.

You awake? His text lit up on my screen.

Yes, I texted back. Meet me outside?

Five minutes later, Clint showed up at the sliding door and came outside to sit next to me at the pool. I wrapped my towel around my shoulders.

"So, I've been thinking about this whole you and Steve thing," he said.

"You mean our relationship? What about it?" I asked.

"It's...surprising. I mean, the chemistry between you two has been obvious ever since your whole almost-thing with Bruce, but—"

"What do you mean the chemistry has been there?" I crossed my arms over my chest, defensive. First Sam, then Tony, now Clint. It was annoying that everyone had known how Steve and I felt about each other before we knew how we felt about each other.

"I mean, I've noticed something in the way you've looked at him. I know something happened between you two in DC a few years ago and—"

"That was all strictly professional," I said. The mission, as usual, had been classified. I never shared any of the details with anyone.

Clint raised an eyebrow. "So you didn't kiss him?"

I rolled my eyes. Great. "We were undercover. HYDRA was on to us so I had to think fast."

"Well, Steve tells it a little differently," Clint said, cautiously.

I narrowed my eyes. "What do you mean? That's the story."

Clint held his hands up in defense. "Don't shoot the messenger. And, yes, I mean that literally. Look, he may've mentioned something to me a while back. You're a hard person to read, so he was asking for advice." He took in my unimpressed expression. "You know, I shouldn't have said anything."

I sighed. Clint was my best friend and usually I could tell him anything. But this was different. "Look, what happened with me and Steve in DC was...well, it was nice. Really nice. But I didn't think anything of it at the time. I never had any reason to. Steve knew everything was strictly for the mission."

"Yeah, well you remember when we were at my house with the team and Fury was there? It was blatantly obvious that something was going on between you two."

"Steve and I just started dating. How was it obvious back then? That mission was a while ago. So was the DC mission."

"I don't know, Nat. All I know is that I know the way he looked at you when you and Bruce were well, whatever you were. And I notice everything, remember?"

"Why didn't you tell me then, Clint?"

"I didn't think you'd be interested. I mean, after the way things were handled with—"

"With Bruce, yeah I get it. I made a mistake, let my guard down. End of story."

"—I didn't think you would want a rebound, and I knew how Steve felt about you. I was trying to save him from being the rebound."

"Steve could never be my rebound," I said.

"Why do you say that?" Clint asked.

"A rebound is supposed to be someone you don't see a future with. Someone who is there to help you get over the breakup. And with Steve...with Steve, I see him as more than that. Maybe I always have, I don't know."

"How so?"

I took a deep breath. I couldn't believe I was about to admit this to Clint. "Because as much as I don't want to admit it—and I'll deny it if you ever speak of this to anyone—I think I'm in love with him."

"I won't tell anyone, Nat. I promise." He glanced at me. "And I hope you don't mind me saying so, but I'm really glad to see you this happy. You and I have been friends for...ever. And never once have I seen your face light up the way it does when Steve walks into a room. Plus, the whole truth or dare thing—"

"God, Clint. Not again."

"—something changed in your demeanor around him. It was a good change, believe me. I can tell that he means a lot to you."

I smiled. "I hope I mean a lot to him, too."

He nodded. "You do. I see it in his face, too. He cares so much for you."

I looked out at the water, staying silent for a moment. "I don't know how you do it, Clint. You make having a family look so...easy."

Clint laughed. "Having to leave my family for months on end? It's not easy in the slightest, Nat." He scratched his forehead. "So, I know this makes me that person, but what do you see for you and Steve? Since you said he's not a rebound, that is."

I leaned back on my hands on the pool deck. "Honestly, I haven't given it much thought."

"Then what would you say now? In the moment?" he asked.

I laughed. "Pushy, much? In the moment, I would have to say...I see us together long-term. I just...we haven't talked about it yet, but I think he wants a family. So, that's the only part I'm worried about given my situation." I frowned at my stomach.

"If Steve feels the way I think he does about you, I don't think that will be an issue," Clint said.

"I hope you're right, Barton. But let's get us to the point where we've been dating longer than a few weeks to start planning my future with him."

Clint nodded. "Deal." He checked his watch. "We should go back inside and get some rest before the sun comes up."

I stood up. "Night, Barton."

"Night, Romanoff."

I smiled as I walked inside and up the stairs to my room. Only time would tell what Steve wanted in our relationship. And I prayed that we were on the same page. Because, truly, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.