Talk me down // Tronnor

Chapter 16

Connors POV

My deal with Troye was for him to eat half the burger and I wouldn't bug him about it or say anything about food for the rest of the night.
When the food arrived he stared at it for a good 2 minutes before watching me intently while I ate a chip.
His eyes followed it to my mouth and as soon as I was done chewing he looked down at his food determindly.
I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I wanted to help him so badly, but I didn't know if this was the way to do it. Was forcing him to eat going to make it worse? I couldn't sit around and do nothing but I was scared that if I pushed him too much he would close up again.
Carefully, he cut up the burger into tiny tiny pieces and seperated it into two piles. 
We both sat in silence and waited while he pushed his food around a plate. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it was tense. Troye seemed to be building up the courage to eat it and each time he had the piece of burger on the fork he changed his mind and resorted to pushing it around again. 
I, on the other hand was torn being saying something and not wanting to disrupt his thinking. 
This continued until half of my burger was gone and most of the chips. Troye still hadn't eaten a thing.
He put down his knife and fork and looked up at me with an expression that nearly broke my heart in half.
"I'm so sorry Connor, I can't do it" he said apologetically
"Hey," I said, reaching out and taking his hand into mine, "It's alright, you can do it. Nothing bad is going to happen and eating this doesn't make you a bad person"
I stroked my finger softly against the back of his hand to try and get him to stay calm. 
He was staring at the plate again with an expression completely different to the one he wore before. 
Instead of the determined glare, he had a look of utter despair. He was no longer making any attempt at eating it, he had given up all together. 
I gently took his hand out of mine and pulled his plate closer to me. I tried my best to seperate out the bread and just put the chicken lettuce and tomato in a pile. The amount left would barely feed a toddler but he stil looked terrified when I handed it back.
"Okay try this Troye, for me okay?"
With those last words he looked up at me and nodded.

It took another 30 minutes of trying to distract Troye with pointless conversation about things we were going to do while we were in New Zeland. We both agreed that we wanted to go on some sort of walk even though neither of us were the sporty type but most of all we just wanted to relax without worrying about everything we usually did.

Heading out of the restaurant, the mood was different to when we walked in. Before we were happy and cheerful but now we were both exhausted again. We walked past the tree that we had passed on the way in, I had acciedntly turned around and held out my hand for Troye before realising my mistake. I hadn't even known what I was doing until I did it, holding out my hand for him seemed like the most natural thng in the world. 

~*~*~ 

I woke up in the morning to bright sun streaming though the windows, we'd ovbiously forgotten to close the curtains in our tired state, andI was wrapped in sweaty blankets.
It was the middle of summer and considering that it was nearly 11am and we were in a room with no windows open, it was pretty hot.
I remembered Troye and I's plan to find a new hotel today and after quickly checking in the booklet next to the phone, realised check out was 11:30am.
I wasn't worried about packing our bags intime, it was more about waking Troye. That boy was definatly not a morning person. 

I looked over to his bed, expecting to see him curled up in a ball on his side like he usually sleeps, but was instead met with the site of him already with one leg out of the blankets and getting up.
"Woah, Troye Sivan out of bed before midday? Unheard of." I joked
"Good morning to you too" he said more cheerfully than I expected.
"So do we know where we're going today?" he asked
"Not a clue" I replied with a laugh
"Okay let's pack real quick then we better find somewhere" he said turning around to start packing, he looked back and me quickly and said "I'm really glad I'm here with you Con" quietly with a small smile curling at the edge of his lips.
"Me too" I said, and he would never know how much I meant it. 

~*~*~

"This one looks nice!" Troye said pointing to a lakeside resort that was on my laptop screen.
"No look here, it says 'limited wifi'" I laughed
"Oh god no, next" Troye said with a look of absolute disgust.
After scrolling through countless other hotels, motels and lodges a small wood cabin appeared. 
I looked at Troye questioningly and saw him reading the description. 
"Wait, this one actually looks perfect" he said starting to get excited, "There are seperate cabins in a forest but you can order room service and there are tracks from all of them to a lake, it's not too far from town and look how amazing the views are"
"So this is it?" I asked, I had barely read about it but if Troye liked it, so did I.
"Yep" he smiled and looked me in the eyes properly for perhaps the first time all trip. 
The bright blue eyes that I could stare into forever.

Theres a certain point when you're looking at someone that you cross past the point of staring at them platonically. The emotions dancing through his eyes were not those of someone looking at his friend and I'm sure the exact same things were being mirrored in my own. The mood between has changed rapidly and it had almost turned into a staring contest, to see who would give up first. 
Each moment longer that I lookd at him, I found myself falling harder and harder for him. I didn't know it was possible to like someone this much but here we were, sitting on the each of the bed and even though neither of us were saying anythig, this was the closest we'd ever come to admitting our feelings. 
In the end, I don't know who was the first to look away because we were looking at each other so intently that when one of us moved our eyes the slightest bit. the other would follow. 
The moment we lost eye contact, we both snapped ot of the trance we were in.
The lingering feeling wasn't awkward, it was an imense sense of calm that made it completely unnecesasary to say anything because you could sense that the other was feeling what you were feeling too.
There was a general silence over the both of us as we both packed up our bags, although both with much larger smiles than before.

A/N This is starting to get real confusing bc I'm starting to forget if something happened in this story or someone elses. Is anyone confused? Idk pretty much rn they both like each but neither wants to say anything bc they think the other doesn't like them back. Goodnight xxx