Pirate Oneshots

The Ship

"C'mon! I wanna show you something!" An0n excitedly squeaked, running down the dock, her girlfriend's hand in her own. Foxy stumbled along, laughing.

An0n stopped at the end of the dock and placed her hands on her hips. Foxy looked up at the large, beaten up boat, and back at An0n. An0n smiled at Foxy, her shimmering grey-blue eyes matching that of the sea. 

"This- this is ours?" Foxy looked back at the ship in awe.

"You bet!" An0n grabbed a hold of Foxy's arm, and leaned her head on meow's shoulder. 

"An0n..." Foxy said under meow's breath.

"Do you like it?" An0n asked, smiling ear to ear.

"An0n," Foxy chuckled lightly, "An0n I'm scared of water."

"Oh" An0n slowly lifted her head, "Oh yeah." 

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"For the last time." Aoxy pointed her screwdriver at the cowering Sapl and Mersh, "Stop. Putting. Random. Shit. In. The. Microwave. I will literally shove this screwdriver in your eye with zero remorse if I have to fix it again. Got it?"

Mersh nods slowly, "We understand." 

Sapl holds up a thumbs up, "Sorry! Kinda." Fae whisper the last part so only Mersh can hear. Mersh snorts and quickly covers their mouth. 

Aoxy sighs, shaking her head, "I swear to Mexican Dream." She mumbles, grabbing her tools and exiting the kitchen. 

"Are you guys really going to stop?" Dogge pleads, hopefully.

"Likely not." Mersh says with a smile. 

Theo bangs his head against the fridge repeatedly, and Dogge quietly begins to sob.

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"Could I please get your attention?" Foxy says through a megaphone, ringing the dinner bell. Crewmates slowly emerge from there stations, knowing something bad is about to happen at the sight of the dripping wet Foxy.

"Thank you." Foxy starts, before clearing meow's throat, "As you all know, I am part cat, and my adorable girlfriend dragged me on a pirate ship. You also all know I despise water. So who the hell strung up a fake mouse dipped in ice cream over the ocean."

The readers all stay dead quiet.

"I will find you, you heathen." Foxy growls.

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Can cautiously enters the Captain's Quarters where An0n is humming a tune while brushing Foxy's still wet hair. 

"Can." Foxy greeted scarily calmly, gesturing towards the armchair on the other side of the desk. Can slowly sits down.

"You uh, you called me in?" Can nervously fidgets with her hook, which she thought would be fun to have on a pirate ship and all, but was actually super impractical. She didn't mind though, because it looked cool.

"Yes." Foxy leans forward, placing meow's elbows on the desk. An0n puts down the hairbrush and hugs Foxy, who wears a stern face in spite of the blond's clinging. "There is a traitor in our midst. Was it you?"

"Foxy, bb, don't you think traitor is a bit strong of a word?" An0n raises an eyebrow at Foxy.

"No. It's a perfect word." Foxy protests.

"Mmmkay" An0n shrugs and buries her face into Foxy's side. 

"So, Can. Was it you?" Foxy questions again. 

Can shifts awkwardly in her seat, "Uh, no, sir." 

"Hm." Foxy squints. "Where were you stationed yesterday?"

"Down in the hull, with the gunners. They can vouch for me." Can answers. 

"Alright then," Foxy sighs, gesturing to the door, "You're dismissed I guess. If you know who did it, tell me or whatever."

Can nods and gets up.

"See ya, Can!" An0n waves. 

"Bye An0n!" Can waves back with a smile then exits.

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(This part was sorta inspired by the 'who broke it' meme thing lmao)

"Okay. So. One on one interrogations did not work." Foxy, annoyed, speaks into the megaphone, "It ended in me getting a headache, a broken lamp, and zero answers. So whoever it was, start talking now or you're all getting thrown overboard." 

"It was me!" Figgy exclaims at the 'thrown overboard' part. "I did it, throw me overboard."

"No no no no, That doesn't sound like you. Who was it." 

"Kape has been acting sus!" CH points to Kape with his mop and Kape looks at him, 

"CH what the heck?" Kape shreiks, "I think it was Mystery, she wasn't at the wheel when I was sweeping over there!!"

"WHAT. HOW DID I GET PULLED INTO THIS BULLCRAP." Mystery yells.

Soon the whole ship is thrown into a fit of chaos, yelling and accusations flying left and right. 

An0n and Figgy stood off to the side. 

"Can you keep a secret?" An0n asks Figgy, watching her crew argue. 

"Uh, sure." Figgy agrees, 

"I did it. I was dared to during truth or dare." An0n pulls out a tub of the ice cream that covered the fake mouse and eats a spoonful. 

"Wh-" 

"Want some?" An0n asks Figgy with an innocent smile, holding out an extra spoon.

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LmAo this is kind of all over the place, but the first chapter!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO