Cold boyfriend

O.N.E

"Jungkook happy 2nd Anniversary"

I smiled looking at him but as always he didn't reply nor he looked at me.That hurts but I can do nothing Well it becomes a habit to me a bitter habit.As long as he is beside me I'm ok with everything because he matters the most to me.

I asked him for a date. If I was going to wait for him to ask me to go on a date with him then god knows when he will going to ask me that. I'm the only person who always asked him to go on a date with me.

"Jungkook l want to eat ice-cream"

He looked at me for a moment when I locked my eyes with him he looked away looking at nowhere. He never showed his emotions nor affection towards me. At first I said to myself that it's ok maybe one day he will bring himself closer to me but no he didn't and I'm not ok with it. It's too much for me to handle. I'm also a human I also have emotions but I never showed my broken side to him.

He started walking towards the ice-cream shop and after buying it he handed it to me.

"Aren't you going to buying another for yourself"

He never brought something for me personally. I am the one who always tell him to bring that, I want that, please buy that for me. Sad right?

"Hurry up I don't have much time"

I looked down felling guilty because of me he maybe left his work undone. That breaks my heart knowing that his work is more important than me. I tried to hold back my tears and every time I successfully did that. After going home I let it all out. Every peaceful nights becomes a sorrowful night to me.

I looked at him and smiled

"I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'm just a stupid person to ask you to go on a date"

For a moment he looked at me but as always he looked at somewhere when I looked at him. Am I not interested anymore, am I not attractive anymore many negative thoughts were circling around my head. I came back from my train of thoughts after he called me.

"Let's go it's getting late"

Saying that he started to walk. I was sitting on my previous spot looking at his back. How I wished that just one time just one single time he will look behind him only to catch a glimpse of mine but it didn't happen. What did I even expect? Nothing can describe how I am feeling right now. Leaving a sigh I stood up and ran towards him to catch up.

"Jungkook wait for me"

He didn't wait for me to catch his speed. It seams like he is the only one in the park the way he was walking it tells everything. Am I invisible to him? But I shrugged it of and hold his hand. After holding his hand I looked down. Well I'm not allow to touch him. I can only touch his hands nothing more and nothing less. It's the number one rule given by him. That reminds me we never had any romantic relationship. The way we date, it seems like I'm the one who tied him with me forcefully cause I'm the one who proposed him at first. I thought if I date him I will be able to change his heart, to open his heart for me, maybe I will be able to change him but no nothing happens. We are like a dead souls dating with each other without our willingness.

I looked away thinking those sweet but bitter memories. Tears were started to build on my eyes but I can hold back them and don't let them to roll down my eyes yes that's how good I am. if it was a exam I would have gotten top marks on that that's how good I am in that.

"Bye Jungkook. Go to home safely and call me when you reached ok"

I know that he will never reply to me nor he will call me. But what can I do to console my heart. He never brings me to my appointment. He never comes to my house nor I am allow to go to his house. He doesn't like that if I go to his house to surprise him.

I reached my home and unlocked my door with  train of thoughts of mine. I tossed myself on my bed hand resting on my head.

"Do he even care about me?"

A tear rolled down on my cheeks followed by many others. Those train of thoughts never left my mind it was messing my mind badly. Switching the lights off I curled down like a ball and cried my heart out. No one can understand how much hurts he creates for me. But my heart... it always wants to hold him tight.

I want to break up with him but I know I won't be able to move on. At the end it will become my worst regret.

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