Tales from the smp
Lost city of mizu
Y/n: *walks into the the cafeteria at 6 am knowing everyone didn't sleep well the night before and smirks* it's Wednesday my dude~ *screeches*
Ranbob: I'm gonna kill her.
Benji: not yet.
Haunted mansion
Frances: Have you guys seen (y/n) and Melody? They still have chores to do
Rash: No, haven’t seen them since the storm started
Zach: Since the sto- (Y/N) NO!
Meanwhile, creeper hybrid!(y/n) standing in the middle of a thunderstorm with an iron shovel raised high: STRIKE ME DOWN ZEUS, YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALLS
The town that went mad
Cornelius: From now on, we’ll be using code names. I’ll be “Eagle one”
Cornelius: Catboy!corps is “been there, done that”
Corpse, ignoring Cornelius:
Cornelius: Y/n Codename is “currently doing that”
Y/n, choking on air:
Cornelius: Helga will be “happened once in a dream”
Helga, laughing:
Cornelius: Jimmy, you are going to be “if I have to pick another one, that is not Y/n”
Jimmy, taking out a gun:
Cornelius: And Jack is “Eagle two”
Jack: Thank god-
Lost city of mizu again
Ranbob, setting down a card: ace of spades
Charles, pulling out an uno card: +4
Isaac, slamming a Pokémon card down on the table: JOLTEON I CHOOSE YOU!
Y/n, crying: W-what the fuck are we playing?!???
The pit
Ran coming around the corner: “Y/n have you seen— ”
Y/n: “YEET!” *throws baby zombie Piglin (you name it) at Ran like a football*
Ran: *catches him* “
ah z/p/n there you are *calmly walks away holding z/p/n*
Watson: “. . . What the fuck?”
Y/n: *gently taps table*
Ran: *taps back*
John: um...what are they doing?
Watson, sighing: Morse code.
y/n: *aggressively taps table with a smug look*
Ran, covering his face: Y/N DO NOT FLIRT WITH ME.
(Y/n): Bye Ran! Bye Porkius! Bye Bartholomew! Bye Jackie! Bye Ran!
Jackie: You said ‘bye Ran’ twice.
Y/n: I like Ran.
Dsmp
Puffy: We call THAT a traumatic event.
Puffy, to Y/n: Not a “bruh moment.”
Puffy, to Tommy: Or a “major L.”
Puffy, to Ranboo: Or an “oof lmao.”
The masquerade
Y/n: I want you to kill my ex but make it look like an accident
Sir billiam: Say no more
*Later on*
Sir Billiam: Looks like the killer beat him to death with a crowbar and placed a banana peel by his feet
Ranbutler: Where’s Karl, Sebastian, and James?
(Y/n): They’re playing hide and seek.
Ranbutler holding dagger: Where?
(Y/n) also holding a dagger: I don’t think you get how this game works.
Dsmp
Dream being y/n's older brother: so you're telling me. You platonically married an enderman,a child, and a bee to spite me
Y/n: *slowly taking off all her rings* nooooo...
All of these besides the first and last one came from tumbler I don't remember all the names so enjoy this compilation of crackhead jokes also don't judge the last one it came to me at 3am
YOU ARE READING
Dsmp/tftsmp quotes and incorrect quotes
FanfictionJust a bunch of correct and incorrect quotes cause why not
