I can learn fast, i have good grades and i have always the strength to wear my mask. I always listen to people if they need to take somthing from their chest. Nobody will ever notice that im depressed. Nobody will ever notice that im dying inside. I told my friends that i have depression, i told my parends that i have depression. Now im in therapie. But all the people from school still thinks im a nerd. That my life is good.
It feels good to talk about what's on my mind. But they can't take my feelings away. The toughts of dying are so active. I cant go, but i want to go. People get quiet if you talk about suicide. I call it the big scary S word. My sister says that so many people are suidal. But it doesn't help to know that so many people suffers with that feeling. It's sad that all that people feel the same, but it doesn't change the way i feel. And I don't know if that is egoistic, but i always get told that people have it worse than me.
For once, just for once, think about me. Think about how i feel. I am really sorry for al the people that go truh this shit. But i feel already so powerless, i can't help everyone! Im sorry that i cant help everyone! Im sorry that i can't deal with everything.
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I think im going to put a trigger warning on this story. Im not really proud of this chapter. But it is a part of me. Everyday is the same. Put my mask on and be the happy girl, get good grades, over work myself go home after school and feel terrible. I feel really egoistic because i said that i can't help everyone and that people need to think about me. But im not gonna change it. I write what i feel and i don't make anything up. This is how it is. Egoistic ore not. Im sorry...
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my feelings
PoetryIn this book I write my feelings in poems. I'm depressed, so the poems can be a bit dark. I hope to meet people who are also depressed so that I hope to finally be able to talk to someone who understands me. I am actually Dutch and these poems are t...
