Little Red Riding Hood - And The Incredible Munch

Chapter 1

"Rosie?!" Her mother's voice echoed from down the stairs to where Rosie was sat in her room, staring at her phone.

"What mum?!!!" She replied, her eyes not moving from the screen.

"Come down here, I'm not going to have a conversation with you by yelling up the stairs!"

"Well, if you want to have a conversation with me then come up here!" Rosie knew this would earn her a beating. The sound of her mother's slow footsteps could be heard and she decided that putting her phone down would be a risk to her obsession.

"Rosie Hood! You and that phone might as well get married!" Her mother screamed at her, droplets of spit landing on the screen.

"Actually, mum, my phone is an Apple. And the owner of Apple is gay. And so am I, so unfortunately, I am going to have to turn down your proposal."

"Who is that on your phone?" Her mum questioned, peering curiously at the girl on the screen and ignoring Rosies comments.

"That's my celebrity crush, Ocean."

"Oh, well by the way your Grandma is dying so take her some tomatoes from the garden and a slice of plum cake."

"But I WANT THAT PLUM CAKE!!!!" Rosie roared, her face turning red with rage.

"Huh! Fine! Bring your Grandma the crumbs."

"And all the tomatoes are rotten now!"

"Feed them to her anyway, a bit of food poisoning won't do her any harm ."

"Well if you think I'm going any where, you better call me a limo. My brand new gucci flip flops, which are VERY real, cannot make any contact with the ground."

"Didn't you buy those Gucci flip flops from Wish-"

"Haha so funny great joke mum! Now call that Limo!" Rosies mother picked up a nearby book, which happened to be Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix - a rather hefty book- (this one happened to be the hard back version to) and wacked Rosie around the head with it, like a rounders bat, with such an incredible force, that Rosie went flying through the window , sending shards of glass to the floor, and landed in the local volcano.

Rosies mother fell to her knees, Wondering whether her actions were necessary, and contemplating whether she should have aimed her daughter towards the car shredder, instead of the volcano. But either way she spent the next hour rolling around with laughter.

Suddenly, her phone rang. It was her lawyer. "Hi Rosies Mum!" Lawyer Snackawacka said. (Yes Rosies Mums real name was Rosies mum).

"Yo wassup fam." She replied.

"Just saw you hit Rosie into the Volcano. Is the volcano OK? ??"

"Probably not. But if it falls apart, I will just rebuild it with sticky tape."

"Good idea!" Lawyer Snackawacka suddenly had a thought. "Do you want Rosie back so you can send her Grandmother some cake crumbs and rotten tomatoes?"

"Yah sure."

"OK one second." Lawyer Snackawacka then proceeded to reach into the volcano with her 10 mile long, taco proof arms and pulled Rosie out. Rosie was very much dead, but much to her mother's disappointment, Lawyer Snackawacka threw a ten ton ant named Trevor at her, who magicked her back to life.

"Rosie, here is a roasted pie to give to your grandmother!" Lawyer Snackawacka smiled, and handed her a pie.

"Ooh thank you! What is the filling?" Rosie grinned.

"Cow Pats and Cherries ♡"

"Grandma's favourite!"

"Rosie you idiot! You've never even met your Grandma! Even though she lives next door and will die tomorrow!"

"Blah blah who cares she probably just wants her pet pineapple back."

"Yeah well hurry up Rosie Posie! Get those rotten tomatoes and cake crumbs and Pie and take them to your Grandma!"

"BUT MY G-G-GUCCI FLIP FLOPS!!!"

"huh fine. I will hire Simon Cowell to carry you there."