Forbidden

54 - Envy

I woke up the next morning with Draco's arms around me and his face nestled into my neck. In all honesty, it was the safest I had felt in ages which is ironic because me staying at Malfoy Manor is definitely unsafe.

I must have moved too much because Draco sat up and blinked the sleep from his eyes. "Go back to sleep, darling, you need it," he said tiredly as he pulled the comforter over our heads.

Still tired, I hardly remembered last night's events so falling back asleep was rather easy. As I dozed off, the feeling of Draco's steady breathing and his fingers playing with my hair comforted me. So, within moments, I had fallen back asleep.

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After Elizabeth fell asleep, I struggled to do the same because thoughts of last night ran wildly through my head. Not to mention, every time she even twitched made me nervous because I did not want her going through any more discomfort. She's already gone through enough of that and in such a short amount of time, too.

A while later, Elizabeth woke up. I stroked her hair gently while she slowly sat up. "How are you feeling?" I asked softly.

She nestled her face into my chest and muttered, "fine. I'm just happy to be back with you."

However, I knew her words were false. Though she will never admit it to me, I know she deeply regrets joining You-Know-Who over the option of safely returning to her family. I haven't a clue why she chose me over her perfect life as I come with so much baggage, and she knows that.

But as if she was reading my thoughts, she said, "and don't think I regret my decision last night. I know what I signed myself up for and I will follow through with it."

I didn't respond to her because I don't think she even realizes how cruel the side is that she chose to be faithful to.

We both sat in silence for a few more moments before a knock came from the door. I flicked my wand at it and my mother walked in.

"Brunch is ready. We have many things to discuss, so be downstairs soon."

She shut the door and both Elizabeth and I climbed out of the bed. We got dressed, and then we made our way downstairs.

Elizabeth and I walked in silence. I could see her peering at me every few moments, but no words were spoken.

We reached the dining room and took our seats around the table. Vanessa, my parents, and the Goyles were already seated at the table which was filled with all sorts of foods. I assumed the Goyles were here to talk about the baby so I didn't think anything of it.

So, after we settled in, everyone began to eat. Although, no one spoke until after everyone finished their food.

Father cleared his throat and everyone turned their attention towards him. "I guess we should get to it. What's the plan for the...eh...baby?" he asked awkwardly.

Vanessa rubbed her stomach and looked at Goyle who looked extremely nervous.

"I have agreed to keep it in the case that Vanessa cannot," he said shakily.

The Goyles looked rather angry but nodded approvingly at their son's words. Knowing Goyle, he probably wanted nothing to do with the baby, but his parents probably forced him to take it in.

"And Lizzie and Draco, we still want you to be the godparents," Vanessa said hopefully.

Elizabeth stayed silent, but I answered right away. "Absolutely not."

"Draco," Elizabeth whispered from beside me.

"You have made our lives a living hell, Vanessa. Why should we suddenly do you a favor?"

"It's hardly a favor! This child is Lizzie's niece or nephew! Don't you think she wants to be a part of its life in the case neither Goyle or me can?"

"No, she doesn't," I responded before Elizabeth could say anything.

My mother shot me a disapproving glare and motioned for me to follow her. I rolled my eyes but followed her outside of the dining room.

"What?" I spat.

"That's Elizabeth's future niece or nephew that you're rejecting!"

"And it's Vanessa's child!"

"Goyle will still be around. The odds of both them not being around to care for the baby are small."

Why does no one understand that I don't want a child on my hands at such a young age?

"I've said it enough. No."

Mother sighed. "What does Elizabeth want?"

Even though she hasn't directly said it, I know she's in favor of being the baby's godmother.

"That's what I thought," Mother said knowingly.

And in all honesty, I do want a child in the future, but not Vanessa's. Not after she ruined a year that I could have spent with Elizabeth; a year where I could have kept Elizabeth safe. I just know when I look at that child, it will be a constant reminder of what its mother put us through.

"Draco, put yourself in Elizabeth's shoes. She's currently being spoken over, how would that make you feel?"

"I..."

I was cut off by my mother who continued to speak. "And, that baby is related to her by blood! It is her niece or nephew. Do you really think she wants to abandon it?"

Deep down, I knew she was right but I didn't want to give in.

"May I speak to Elizabeth about this?" I muttered.

Mother nodded and stuck her head into the dining room. A second later, Elizabeth appeared and my mother walked away.

"So you want to be the baby's godparents?" I asked.

She shrugged shyly. "I mean, yes, but if you don't want to, then we don't have to."

"I don't know how you do it. People put you through living hell and you still manage to forgive as easily as it was for these people to hurt you."

"Well, hating doesn't do us any good."

I turned on her abruptly and she jumped slightly. "Well, it's not that easy, Elizabeth! Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows like you want it to be!" I hissed.

She looked taken aback by my sudden change of tone. "Draco, I—"

"Do you not understand the situation you put yourself in? You are working for the Dark Lord! One wrong move, and you're dead! Look at the situation Vanessa has gotten herself into!"

She stood there silently and when she opened her mouth to respond, I cut her off. Again.

"You had a choice. A choice to be a good person, to be free, a choice to see your family again, but no," I seethed.

Tears had filled in her eyes and the small conversation that was coming from the dining room had stopped.

"I envy you. I really do. You had a choice to return to your great, big, loving family...but instead, you chose to join the Dark Side. Is that really what Oliver, or Cedric, or the rest of them would have wanted?"

"Draco, that's enough!" the voice of my father spat.

I looked down at Elizabeth who was backed up against a wall, sobbing. I stood towering over her, and I immediately backed off.

Fuck. I screwed up badly. As usual.