Fight for us

Forced smile

Ellie pov

Over one week thats how long I have been working for a paramedic in the fire station and honestly I don't know what to think off it, from the outside it looks like a happy family and it does on the inside but I have kept to myself through out working here, I have found a perfect place where i'm left alone to do my own business which i'm thankful for. I have only exchange a couple of words between Megan my partner on the ambulance but nothing thats worth her repeating. After losing Tristan it was hard and I didn't want to lose anyone else, I have learnt to block the feeling out after a while but the best way for it not to affect me is not to get close to anyone and thats what I do, I work and go home to my child. Climbing out of bed today I quickly get ready before preparing my sons dinner, his first week at school wasn't too bad so he tells me which is always good, he has made a couple of friends which I knew would happen, making friends at the age of seven is easy. I have worked my arse off for Logan to get everything he wants and I have raised him right. if I cant pick him up one of my brothers do it or my parents, I try to always be there and I have so far, everything I do is for him.

Entering the fire station I give everyone a quick nod as I walk past them I know I should at least get to know them a little but I really don't want to be hurt when one of them either gets hurt or dies, I have lost enough people in my life to last a life time so i'm saving myself the pain of losing another person. Walking into the kitchen I grab an apple and a bottle of water before taking a seat at the table, normally I go straight to my little spot but today I don't know what I'm thinking. Pulling my laptop from my bag I open it up and log in, I have been staying at my parents house since I moved back even though I have an apartment but it was just easier to be there. Looking up furniture to make it a home instead of a house I come up empty, I can't find anything I like or will suit the apartment I have, I want something that Logan would like also.

"That is cute and would go lovely with a black rug" I hear a voice beside me looking at my laptop screen as I look for the perfect sofa, but before I can look back at my laptop I have a couple more fire fighter sounding me looking at my screen each putting there own opinion in about what I should have, I remain quiet. Trying to listen to everyone I spot a fire fighter opposite me looking at me giving me a shy smile, I think his name is matt and we have only ever said hello in passing, he's the only one who has given me space for me to settle unlike everyone else who has come up to me and addressed me, a couple have notice the wedding band around my necklace but haven't said anything, I know they want to but haven't and even if they did bring it up, I would have shut it down without a hint of hesitation. Letting one of the guys type his recommendations into my computer I look at the sofa he likes and I have to admit there aren't as bad as I thought they was going to be, looking at them I block out everyone opinion once again, maybe I should have done this without everyone seeing it.

"Ambulance sixty man in distress" a sign of relief floods over me as I hear ambulance sixty and I know its wrong of me to think that but I just want out the kitchen where everyone was looking at my laptop, locking my laptop quickly I make my way to the ambulance not sure what to expect. Sitting in the passenger seat I close my eyes for a brief second enjoying the quietness, i'm not a women of many words but when I do talk, everyone listens.

Opening my eyes we are at the scene of a man in distress and looking at the man on the side walk it sounds like he had a heart attack, his wife is stood next to him keeping him company, i'm not sure who rang for the ambulance but i'm glad they called. Strapping the man to the monitor I watch his heart rate for a quick second before placing him inside the back, once the man is strapped down I help his wife into the back, looking at the two I kind of seen myself and Tristan where we would of grown old together. The wife doesn't leave the man side i'm always checking on his heart rate as Megan drives. The five minute drive from the hospital to the er is quick and as the back door opens I relay the information into one of the doctors before helping the wife out the ambulance, she gives me a quick thanks before rushing off to her husband and I rush off to get more supplies for the ambulance which I wish Megan would have done but I got the short straw literally. Walking around the corner I bump into someone but the only thing that drops is the box of supplies I just got out the room behind me

"Miss no manners fancy bumping into you, I think you owe me a apology for what you said that day" Looking at the man I bump into I roll my eyes at the man and his name for me, only because I told him not to kill the patient doesn't mean I don't have manners, I may have used a harsh tone but its life he shouldn't hold a grudge for that. Picking up the supplies I do my best to ignore him hoping he walks away leaving me alone but instead he helps me and I just want to walk away but I cant, I have only spend less then a minute with him overall and honestly its enough for me to know a little about him and the way the nurses look at him, even some of the doctors look at him with puppy dog eyes, its cute they all got a crush of him

"Don't think I do last time I checked it's a free world. Stick to your job and i'll do the same" I say picking up my box before walking away with my head held high, I have always apologises if I was ever in the wrong and that situation I wasn't. Walking back to the ambulance I walk past a couple of nurses and doctors who just look at me and then look away, ignoring them all I focus on the exit sign I see in the distance, next time Megan is restocking the ambulance she knows everyone here. Climbing back in the ambulance I cant wait for the shift to be over, its already feels like its been a long day even though It has only just started.