Electricity - Alex Turner

48. Was sorta hopin' that you'd stay

One week later...

"Al, come on you have to get ready." Bella said.

"I love it when you call me that." He smiled, cupping her cheeks as she sat above him.

"Al, as much as I want you to stay, you have to get ready." She pouted.

"Fuck." He sighed. "Call me that again and I'll get up." He said and she rolled her eyes smiling and pecked his lips.

"I love you Al. Now get your ass up, I even made you breakfast." She smiled.

"Isn't like seven? I leave in the afternoon." He chuckled.

"So you don't want to spend your last day with me?" She fake pouted and he got up and kissed her.

She was now sitting on her knees as they basically devoured each other. He pushed her slightly on the mattress, not breaking the kiss and placed his hands on her neck. He pulled away and looked in her eyes but he couldn't read her expression.

"Al..Alex, I- I don't think I'm ready yet." She said quietly as she fixed the satin robe she was wearing. "Please don't be mad at me."

"Baby." He sighed and cupped her cheeks. "Why would I be mad at you? I love you endlessly sweetheart."

"I love you too." She smiled and licked her lips. "Now get up, the food is going to get cold." She chuckled.

They ate together, laughing all the time. All the times that they stopped laughing was either to breath or steal a kiss. They also had a one last dance in the living room but they ended up cuddling on the couch.

"I'll miss you." She whispered as she pecked his jaw.

"I'll miss you more." He said. "But why don't you come with us? It's less than three months."

"Not this again...I thought we ended the discussion." She said as she stood up a bit and looked at him.

"Bel...I'm just afraid." He said.

"Afraid of what?" She asked.

"You know what." He sighed.

She sighed loudly and stood up, walking towards the glass door as she just looked outside. She turned around and looked back at him.

"If you're not around that doesn't mean that I will fucking kill myself or anything stupid that you think!" She exclaimed and he stood up as well, walking towards her.

"How could I know that? Can't you see that you're not doing great right now?" He asked and he wished he didn't because he already knew that he messed up everything.

"What?" She asked, slightly shocked. "So you think that I can't be away from you or else I'll jump back in that hole and think about suicide again?"

He looked up in her eyes, trying to hold back his tears. "Yes."

She just sighed and a tear fell on her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away. "You're not making me happy." She shook her head.

"Bel...I didn't-"

"I thought about it before and since we got back together all I could do is focus on you and your happiness as I tried to fake mine." She said, tears rolling down on her cheeks.

"Bella...Please."

"Please what, Alex? Are you begging me again to come with you?" She asked.

"Yes, is there a problem?" He replied.

"Yes, a massive one! You're too selfish!" She raised her voice. "You don't care about anything except for you, and you can't deny it!"

"What the fuck do you mean?" He asked.

"Just...Maybe it's better if we just take a break. I'll think about it and if we're really meant to be together, we will." She said quietly, wiping away the tears from her cheeks.

"Baby what are you talking about? No." He shook his head. "We can make it work. I just thought that if you come with us-"

"Alex stop fucking brining it up! I'm not." She exclaimed.

"It was a fucking idea, you don't need to be a bitch about it." He said. Good job Alex, you absolutely nailed it.

"Just...Fuck you Alex." She sighed. "That's the third time you break my heart, you should be proud." She shrugged and grabbed her phone and keys before walking towards the front door.

"Bella no! Wait!" He begged as he quickly walked towards her. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going fucking home. I don't want to see you." She said as she opened the door.

"Bella, please forgive me. I don't know why I fucking said that." He begged as a tear fell from his left eye.

"Are you deaf as well? Just fuck off." She sighed and walked away, wearing just her pyjamas.

"It's cold outside, baby just come back." He said as he followed her.

"You don't have the right to call me that." She said as she folded her arms. "This is the last time I'm telling you to leave me the fuck alone if you actually want to see me again."

"Bel please stay. I love-"

"Fuck you Alex." She scoffed as she walked away, her heart aching.

He was stuck in his place not understanding what has just happened. He lost her again and it was his fault, again.

As she arrived back in her flat she collapsed on the floor as she started crying again. She knew she was happy with him but at the same time she wasn't. She wanted to go back and apologise but her ego was bigger and she just cried against the front door.

After a while two knocks on the door made her jump in her spot and then she realised who was behind the door and she covered her mouth just to silence her whimpers.

"Bella, I know you're there, I can hear you." He said. "Please let me in." He begged.

She just continued to cry, as silent as she could and she heard him sit down, his head leaning on the door, on the other side.

"I fucked it up badly, again, but I can't lose you Bel. I know that you don't want to see me and I hope that you will forgive me someday. One thing I want you to know is that I love you and I will always do." He said and his heart broke again as he heard her sobs behind the door.

"Goodbye, Arabella." Were his last words. They shouldn't have been that painful but they were.

She got a call from Jamie later that day as she sat on the sofa and she answered. "Hello?"

"Hi darling, where are you?" He asked and she sniffed.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I can't be there." She said. "Just tell everybody that I love them so much."

"Wait what is that supposed to mean?" He asked and she chuckled.

"Oh no don't get me wrong. I can't be there but I love you guys and I can't wait to see you all when you return." She said.

"What did Alex-"

"How did you know?" She asked.

"You don't want to see him right now." He said and she sighed.

"Jamie, take care of him, please." She said, feeling guilty. "Don't tell him this but I love him and I don't want him to suffer."

"Fucking god Bella. It was his fault, right?" He asked.

"It was mostly my fault for overreacting. But I felt that we needed a break. Maybe we just aren't meant to be together." She sighed.

"Listen, I'll call you when we land. Take care of yourself sweetheart, I love you. I won't promise that I won't fucking kill him for making you cry again though." He chuckled, making her smile a bit.

"Love you too, Cookie. Be careful, tell the others that I love them. Bye bye." She said before she hang up.

"Less than three months..." She whispered to herself.

She had to take one decision from two options. She didn't knew if she should risk it all and run back to Alex or if she should try to fall out of love with him. She knew that they both were painful but she didn't had any other options.