Smoke of His Breath // Ethan Torchio

lesson 11: never judge a book by its cover

Hi! I'm pretty busy for the next two days so I don't know how much I'll be able to upload. Let's hope at least one chapter per day.

Enjoy,

My body is my weapon, so I keep it loaded
'Til I'm all over the place like my head exploded
(Dark Side- Blind Channel)

*
"Thomas is kinda pissed you left him there. He's never been stood up before."

Was he serious? Normally, I would get upset thinking that I had messed up with Thomas but now all I could feel was anger.

"It was your fault. I can't comprehend how can you forget about a date and promise someone for the exact same date. You were a jerk and I had to go after my friend."

He didn't look offended. He was smirking, actually. Which was annoying.

"Yeah because you are a very good friend." he said sarcastically. I didn't like what he implied but i didn't say anything. I just frowned at him and he understood I was pissed. He didn't try to explain himself or anything.

It was a few days after the double date. I had spend the previous days trying to talk to Miruna. I knew it was selfish of me to try to convince her that she should forgave Ethan. I didn't believe she should do that. But Ethan and I had a deal and I had to stick to it. I felt guilty and I knew I wasn't a good friend. I was a terrible friend

"Give me today's lesson and fuck off." I said to Ethan, realizing I was too angry with him to stay in the same room.

"Try being less bitchy, you are annoying." he said. He had an emotianless face. I knew he didn't care any about this. He was using my feelings towards Thomas as a pioneer to make me do everything he wanted. But he could at least try to be easier to get along with.

"Sure! You're so funny aren't you?" I asked sarcastically.

"I don't know what you ask of me Carmen. You never accept anything I say, you don't wear the clothes I pick. You blow your date off. You act weird when I try to teach you something more sexual. What exactly do you need me to teach you? I don't know how can you make Thomas fall in love with you. He's never been in love. And it's not like you can force those feelings. All I can do to make you get his attention. The rest is up to you."

I looked at him. Starting this, I didn't know what I had asked of him either. I was just ready to do whatever it took to get him. I loved Thomas with my whole heart and looking at all the girls next to him, I knew I wasn't like them in any way. Ethan was his best friend. The one person who really knew him. And he happened to want to be with my best friend so I had seen it as a chance, deciding to shoot my shot. I hold my elbow with my hand, uncertain.

"I know Thomas isn't a relationship person and I know he won't fall in love with me, not any time soon. I just want to be as those girls who he cares about, he likes enough to let them hang around near him. Do I want more than that? Yes. But as you said, I can't force such thing. I just need him to notice me. I would like to be able to satistfy him. In any way."

He looked at me in a very different way. He looked suprised, and maybe a little confused. He opened his mouth a couple times and closed them.

"How did you fucking trust me?" he said after a while. "You tell me about your love for my best friend. I could easily tell him all about this. Do we look that approachable? Please don't say yes because if you do, you'll ruin all our high school goals."

I laughed a little to what he said. I shrugged as a response but I didn't find it quite enough so I talked. I couldn't believe I was having a heart-to heart conversation with Ethan Torchio. It was like a girls sleepover, I hold myself not to laugh to the image in my head.

"I think I kinda hoped you would tell him." I found myself admitting something even I didn't know I felt until know. "It would be easier for me if he learned it from someone else. Then you didn't and I decided I could use your help."

He looked faked hurt. He put one his hand to his chest, above his heart and throw himself on the couch dramatically. "So you use me." he said.

I laughed. "You already knew that."

He laughed too. "Today's lesson must be about not using people." he said, with the last bits of the smile left from his previous laugh.

"God just admit that you can't think of anything creative." I said. He looked offended by what I said.

"There's always a lesson to learn from the one and only Mr. Ethan Torchio." he said, holding his hands in each side, like a performer waiting for applause. I rolled my eyes at him. He thought for a couple more minutes. Then he said "I found it."

"What?" I asked, kind of excited to hear what kind of a stupid thing he had come up with.

"Never judge a book by its cover."

I looked at him with disgust, although he looked pretty proud of himself. When he saw my face, he began to explain.

"Don't look at me like that because you look ugly and I don't want to hear that. Also hear me out. You had thought I would tell Thomas. I didn't. I had thought you were dumb enough to not think about that possibly but you weren't. We always say Thomas isn't a relationship person but maybe he is."

He was right in a way but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. "Wise words from Mr. Ethan Torchio," I said in a sarcastic way in which it was clear that I was mocking him. He didn't say anything and threw me a cushion instead.