Poems

Happy Girl

Happy Girl

A silent tear creeps down my face

As I remember those hurtful words

"You can't cry"

My classmates say

"You're Happy Girl"

Why is it happiness that is expected

Why am I not allowed to feel unsettled

That tiny bottle

Deep inside my chest,

Cradling my feelings is just about to shatter

Why do most people take my feelings for granted

I may secretly have a qualm with you

But you refuse to notice

My smile is my shield

My smile repels hate

And if I lower that shield

I will certainly be under siege

So next time you look at me

Know deep inside your heart

That yes,

I carry a smile,

But that smile weighs me down

That a smile can convey much more than happiness

Yes,

I am Happy Girl

But I have more to offer 

This one is a hard one. It is very emotional for me, and almost hard to read. It depicts the way that I am often percieved and my reaction. It talks about how I smile on the outside, but can be crying and screaming on the inside. I learned about how I am percieved when my cat died about two years ago. It was at that point that I found my showing any emotion other than happiness or excitment would be rejected. When I don't show happiness, or enthusasuim, I feel people pull away. Like they decide that this isn't a perso they want to be involved with or accept. These same people comfort my best friend when she cries. Because of this there are very few people I feel comfortable crying around. That isn't right. I want to be able to express emotions without feeling shamed for it. Why are my friends aloud to cry at school when something bad happens, but I can't? Sometimes I just snap and that is ok. Crying is healthy, and suppressing emotions is not. If you know me face to face, except that I am not just bubbles and sunshine. I am a human being who cries just like everyone else. I feel every emotion you do, and it is your choice weather to accept it or not. Please, if you feel like I do, please tell me. I fell very alone in this matter. I also don't think that ANYONE should EVER feel this way. If you want to cry, cry. If people judge you for it, screw them. I am learning how to do this, and I really hope that NOBODY has the same issues that I do. Crying is acceptable, so accept it.  

- Rowan, or as you know me, Ro.