With Broken Grace

chapter one

I was never God's favorite. 

I'm not the fastest, or the strongest, far from the prettiest. No, his precious archangels got all that glory. No one ever cares to mention the advantage those brats got over the rest of us. I mean, the Father Almighty creates enough angels to form a wedding brigade and yet favors seven of the most annoying creatures I've ever had the displeasure of having dinner with.

Now maybe it was jealousy that got me here. Dad was always so picky about his rules. Thou shall not envy another or some shit like that. I was an angel of loyalty, and purity. So its not like I could have that many mistakes to choose from. I'm not sure what gave him the grand idea, but on my fall to earth, he must've taken memories too.

I remember I was an angel obviously, and all of my comrades. I wouldn't go so far as to call them friends, but all their names and faces were clear in my mind. Wish God would've taken the memory of Michael and Gabriel gossiping in the throne room instead of my sins. No one deserved to remember those two in any capacity.

So my mind draws a blank. Angels don't sin often, but they're also usually forgiven. Some service in the garden, or stuck on prayer duty. Sure it sucked, but it was not normal procedure to get cast down. 

I even got to watch the sun come up from my position on the dirt. I don't even really remember the fall. Not the conversation I had with any of my brothers leading up to it, not the meeting with God. I blinked and suddenly my time home felt like a fever dream. If I closed my eyes, I could hazily see my room back up in Heaven, kind of remember the faces of the minor angels I only crossed paths with occasionally.

I sighed, laying flat on my back still, arms out in the same position I landed in. When they say fell, they really mean it. I felt a slight ache in my spine, and tingles along my legs and arms. Pain wasn't uncommon for us soldiers, but never from such a minor inconvenience. I didn't bother moving partly due to said pain, and partly because I wasn't sure where I'd go. 

The ground was warm, which must've meant it was a summer month. My eyes stayed on the sky as the sun, God's favorite star, slowly crept over the edge of the world. Humans can only ever look at it for short periods of time, with squinted eyes or sunglasses. I enjoyed being able to watch. I never got such a view from upstairs. I tried to think of how I felt about the whole ordeal, but us angels weren't known for our emotional capacity.

I guess I'm upset, maybe disappointed, though more in my father than in myself. I can't be upset with myself if I don't even know what I did. I racked my brain for any kind of hint but the longer I thought about where I came from the more it tired me out. 

I groaned in annoyance with myself as I let my head fall against the ground again, not even paying attention to the tiny thump of pain. The zooming of something was heard a few feet from me, though I couldn't tell you how far or what was making the noise. I wasn't too interested either. 

The sun was rising pretty fast, the brightness finally reached me, causing instincts to close my eyes. I tossed my arm over my face to help block the rays. my expression morphed into a grimace as I lost the ability to watch the sunrise, but I didn't care to make any other motions. I thought that eventually God would get his laughs in and take me home. Haha very funny dad, but I was bored and surely he must've been too.

"You're going to get arrested you know," I heard a female voice, not that it motivated me to do anything. I simply grunted in response.

a few crunching steps later, she must've kicked me in the side, as a thud was felt somewhere near my ribcage. "Seriously, no amount of intoxication or moping is going to get you out of a ticket."

Sarcasm, two can play that game. I kept my eyes closed but took my arm off my face. "Let them arrest me. I'd like to see a couple of you idiots move me," I grumbled.