Angel of Small Death (JENLISA g!p)

CHAPTER 7

With every passing day, for every kiss, for every touch, Lisa claimed more space in Jennie's mind that it started to worry her. Especially during the time when she was sitting at their Sunday church service and couldn't concentrate on what her father was saying because she was thinking about how Lisa's sinfully skilled tongue felt between her legs, she eventually found herself blushing as guilt and shame wracked her core.

She still prayed a lot, prayed for her salvation, even though she knew that she will commit the same sin over and over. She was nearly convinced that Lisa cast a spell on her, bewitched her with her dark chocolate eyes and devilish grin. Perhaps Jennie didn't have as much of a choice, she thought. Deep down she was aware that she was nothing but excuses, it was the only thing that's keeping her from drowning in her own guilt.

You're a good girl was a phrase that she used to hear a lot from her parents, family friends, and other churchgoers. They always looked at her with much adoration in their eyes, most of them have known her since she was little and they all knew was she has always been the perfect daughter, the perfect Christian poster child, and a role model to their children. These expectations have always been suffocating. You are not allowed to make mistakes, even if you are a kid, because those mistakes would always amplify tenfold. So, Jennie always strived to be close to perfect and her parents always made sure of that. She and Nayeon were expected to be like robots when they're at the church service or when their family friends were around. Only when they're alone where they can be themselves - somehow human.

Perhaps that's the reason why it was so easy to fall for Lisa because when she's with her she felt free and liberated in a way that's more addictive than any drug. Lisa didn't expect her to be perfect and despite being pushy and eager often times she would still respect her boundaries. Lisa might only want her for the sex but that's okay because she uses her too to unwind, to finally be flawed, loud, and less perfect without any judgment, Jennie thought as she tried to find a silver-lining in their situation because she didn't want to wallow in self-pity.

Maybe it was her parents' fault for putting a tight leash on her.

A hand on her arm suddenly startled her out of her thought as met eyes with Kai. "You okay there?"

Jennie realized that she'd been zoning out during their bible study. The class was held once a week, every Sunday afternoon, attended by kids and young adults, thought by Mr. Joo. He's a tall slender man who always smelled nice and dressed in clothes looking like he's going to attend an award show.

"I'm okay," Jennie answered back which made Kai smile and squeeze her hand gently.

She managed to gather her scattered mind for the remaining half-hour of the bible study, she felt guilty by how relieved she was when it was over. She gathered her things; she was about to leave when Kai stopped her.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Umm, home?"

Kai looked a little bit offended. "We are going to the park to take photos, remember? You wanted to learn the basics of photography, right?"

Jennie stared blankly at him for a moment, then recalled tat she agreed to this last Sunday "Oh, yes! I'm sorry," she laughed, clearly embarrassed. "My mind is a little scattered."

Kai smiled, offended expression vanished "Oh, that's okay. Let's go, I borrowed my parents' car."

If she was being honest. Jennie wasn't interested with hanging out with Kai right now. She wanted to go home and cry in her room while listening to Olivia Rodrigo before her parents' guests arrive for their dinner that night. But Kai was sweet and kind so can't find the heart in her to say no.