'Died' ~Layne Staley and John Frusciante story

Chapter 23

Layne's POV

John had gone to New York with the band to play 2 shows, have 3 photoshoots, and give a couple of interviews. After he would be done with work, he was supposed to stay there for a week to spend some time with his parents. I opted not to go with John because in 2 days Jerry, Mike Starr and Sean were coming to LA to go house hunting. Of course I couldn't miss the opportunity to see my best friends.
The morning after John left I went to the gym to work out and then I had gone shopping. I bought myself some t-shirts, nice belts and a couple of pairs of jeans. I still dressed like it was the 90s. I loved studded belts, big leather jackets and ripped jeans.
I got back home and I quickly began to feel bored. I flipped through the channels on TV but soon I got irritated with the stupid shit that was on and turned the TV off.
I stared at John's guitars, unsure if I should touch any of them. After some thought I grabbed the electric black Gibson and I plugged it to an amp. I started to strum the strings, practicing all of the chords John taught me to play. I soon found myself playing one riff over and over again. I ran upstairs to get my notepad and a pencil and I started to write.

"Hope, a new beginning
Time, time to start living
Just like just before we died

There's no going back to the dreams we started from

Hurt, falling through fingers
Trust, trust in the feeling
There's something left inside

There's no going back to the dreams we started from
All secrets known

Calm, old wounds are healing
Strong, truth is worth saving
I want to feel alive

There's no going back to the dreams we started from
All secrets known"

I was so fucking proud of myself.
It was 6 PM and I was going crazy. I started writing down all of the ideas for songs I had and I ended up filling up 10 pages in my notebook in less than 2 hours. My mind wandered off to the time when me and John almost broke up. I remember him keeping sheets of paper all over the house so that if he got an idea for a song while he was cooking dinner, he could immediately write it down. I was such an idiot. I should've supported him, not bashed him for hanging out with Josh all the time.
One thought didn't leave my mind. I was an ass towards Josh. I really should apologize to him. I opened a notepad that was laying next to the landline phone and I searched for Josh's number.
"Hello?" I heard a woman's voice on the other end.
"Hi, can I speak to Josh, please?" I asked.
"Yes, of course. I'm gonna go get my son." The woman said.
So that was his mom. Why would a 23 year old guy live with his parents? I moved out of home when I turned 18 and it was the best decision I've ever made.
"Umm, hello?" I heard Josh ask.
"Hey, Josh. It's Layne. Look, John's out of town and I thought... I'd like to apologize to you for the way I acted when we first met. And I really wanna get to know you better. Would you like to have a beer with me?"
"That sounds great." Josh replied, not sounding enthusiastic at all.
"Awesome. Can you come to John's place or do I have to give you a ride?"
"No, I'll borrow my dad's car."

*

While I was waiting for Josh, I looked for the right words to say. I hated apologizing and owning up to my mistakes. I was a very stubborn person and I honestly had no idea how John was dealing with me.
Josh arrived approximately 2 hours later. I let him in and opened beers for us.
"Josh, thanks for coming. As I've said, I want to apologize for being shitty to you." I said.
Josh's cheeks turned bright red and he looked down at the floor.
"You weren't shitty, Layne. Everything's fine, really. I like you." Josh told me.
"Oh, I was being an asshole. I guess I was jealous of you. You're young and handsome and you're really talented. I've never seen John being so impressed with anyone." I said to Josh.
Josh started to nervously play with his fingers and tap his feet on the wooden floor.
"But now I know that you're a cool guy. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have judged you. You know, after all those years I've spent in solitude I couldn't believe that someone could love me or find me attractive. I was sure John was gonna leave me or cheat on me. I don't know what I was thinking, I'm an idiot. I guess those were my insecurities speaking..." I told Josh.
"It's fine, honestly. I know what it feels like to be insecure. I hate my body, I hate the way I look. Believe me, you're John's whole world. He's always talking about you. And I'm sorry if you felt like I was avoiding you or I didn't like you. I'm very shy, if you couldn't tell, and I guess that why I act so antisocial." Josh explained.
"I know, Josh, I can tell. But you're doing great, especially when you're on stage. You're really talented. John was lucky to find a collaborator like you." I told him.
Josh smiled shyly and looked me in the eyes for the first time that day.
"Thank you. It's so surreal to hear those words coming from the mouth of someone I've been looking up to for years. I love your music so much. I've seen you live when you opened for Kiss in 1996. My dad took me to this concert and since then I've been a fan." Josh said.
I didn't expect that. I was really surprised to hear those words.
"Oh, that's amazing. Thanks, Josh. I think I really like you. So, can I call you my friend?" I asked.
"Yes, of course! It's an honor to be called your friend." Josh replied and smiled widely, showing his pearly white teeth.
We tapped the bottles and laughed. Josh was feeling a lot more comfortable after two beers. We watched the Lakers play on TV and had a great time.
"I was never into sports but in 1992 I got to play baseball with my friend Dimebag and others musicians, it was a benefit game. I even got my own custom shirt!" I told Josh.
"That sounds awesome. I love baseball and hockey, me and my dad watch all of the matches that are broadcasted on TV."
"It seems like you have a great relationship with your parents." I said.
"Yeah, that's right. We fought quite a lot when I was younger but eventually we learnt to communicate and things are much better now."
"Is that why you're still living with them?"
"No... Um... I... Well, I can't afford to... To rent my own place. My girlfriend Olivia and I... We are doing different odd jobs to try and save some money... But it's not enough for a couple of nights out in a month..."
"I get it, I know what it's like to have barely enough to survive. John needs to pay you, you've done an awesome job on the album."
"No, no, I don't want any money from John. I hope to get recognized one day and..."
"That's how it works, Josh. Music is a business. You record albums, play shows and sell merch, and you make money off of it."
"I want to start my own band one day."
"We could help you with that. I know that I started Alice in 1987 but I'm sure things aren't much different nowadays. Fuck, I'm so old." I said and smirked.
Josh laughed at my remark and quickly chugged down the rest of his beer.
"I can't believe I'll be 36 in a couple of months. Oh, by the way, it's John's 33 birthday next week. What do you think I should get him?"
"I'd love to be older so that people would no longer treat me like a child. And about the gift... From what I've gathered, John's not a materialistic person and he doesn't care about possessions. How about you go somewhere nice together? I don't know, I'm not good in giving advice. Nobody ever asks me about anything."
"Thanks, that a good idea." I said and smiled at Josh.
He suddenly opened a packet of cigarettes and took a joint out of it.
"Do you mind if I smoke this?" He asked shyly.
I shook my head and watched Josh lighting the joint and inhaling the smoke. He started coughing as he let the air out.
"I can't smoke at home, my strict Jewish dad would kill me if he knew I smoke weed." Josh said.
I couldn't help it but to giggle.
"I can picture it... This shit's actually good for you. I loved it when I was a kid but then I got into the hardcore stuff and it didn't work the way it used to."
"Yeah, it helps me relax and it calms my nerves." Josh explained.
"You're welcome to smoke here. I'm sure John doesn't care either." I said and suddenly reminded myself that John was supposed to play a show that would be broadcasted on MTV.
"John's on MTV, should we watch it?" I asked Josh.
He nodded so I switched the channel to MTV. The Red Hots were being interviewed before the show.
"John, are you working on any solo projects right now?" The host asked him.
The cameraman zoomed at John's face and I felt something twitch in my crotch. John was looking straight into the camera and biting his lower lip. He pushed a strand of his long hair behind his ear and cleared his throat.
"Yeah, I've been working on an album with my friend Josh Klinghoffer. It's gonna be awesome, it's gonna be the best one I've put out." John said with a smile.
"Well, John, we're very excited to hear that. We know that you've became friends with Layne from Alice in Chains. How would you describe your relationship with him after the tour ended? Do you still talk to Layne?" The host asked him.
"Yes, of course, Layne's my dear friend and we're talking every day. I value his opinions. I don't see our friendship ending any time soon." John said.
Josh looked at me and our eyes met. Then we both started to laugh hysterically.
"Well, he's not the most outspoken person out there but I think he did a pretty good job." I said.
"Shh!" Josh quieted me as the host was about to ask another question.
"I'm sure you jammed together a lot during the tour. Do you plan on recording something together with the Alice guys?" The host asked the whole band.
"I'm sure John's gonna have a lot of spurts of creativity with Layne." Anthony said and the audience started to laugh and clap. Poor people didn't know what Tony really meant.
John was holding his stomach and laughing so hard that he nearly fell of the chair he had been sitting on.
"Oh my god!" I yelled, laughing hard.
"He did not!" Josh laughed, patting his thigh.
Fortunately, after a couple more questions aimed at Flea and Anthony, the Chilli Peppers started the concert.
They started the show with a jam between Flea, Chad and John. I watched my boyfriend looking smoking hot while he concentrated on playing. I wanted to suck him off so badly. I wanted to hear those sweet moans of his again.

*

It seemed like the show had ended as all of the lights went out.
"John's gonna sing a cover." Josh told me.
"Nah, the show's over." I argued.
But then we heard John strum the strings and starting to sing:

"How can I tell you
That I love you
I love you
But I can't think of right words to say
I long to tell you
That I'm always thinking of you
I'm always thinking of you
But my words just blow away
Just blow away
It always ends up to one thing, honey
And I can't think of right words to say"

"Aww!" Josh said and made a kissy face.
"You're just jealous because no one's singing love songs to you, huh?" I joked.
Josh didn't reply, instead he looked at the floor and began playing with his fingers again.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. That wasn't a nice thing to say." I apologized.
"Can I tell you something?" Josh asked shyly.
"Sure, go on."
"It's about my girlfriend. Olivia and I had been together for 3 months, we met at a bookstore. But I... I'm not sure if she loves me."
"What do you mean, Josh? She didn't introduce you to her friends? Or you think she's cheating?"
"No... But she doesn't wanna come to my rehearsals. And when we're out, she's always talking about herself. She never once asked me what I want or if I'm happy."
"She's a narcissist, man. Have you told her how you feel?"
"No, I haven't. I'm scared she'll leave me. And if she leaves, well... I'll be single forever."
"Hey, that's not true. Trust me, man, someone will come your way. But first try to talk to Olivia. Don't make those mistakes I did, I totally fucked up my relationship with Demri by shouting at her, getting physical or cheating on her just to get revenge. You'll never build a healthy relationship if you act this way. Tell Olivia how you feel and if she genuinely cares about you, she'll change her behavior. Maybe she has no idea that it hurts you." I told Josh and gave him a reassuring smile.
"Thanks, Layne. I'll talk to her. I have to go now, it's really late." Josh told me, so we said our goodbyes and I walked him outside.
He got into his dad's car and drove home.