Misfits Series #2: Clear Your Heart

Unexpected

“Pageant?! Oh— Oo nga pala, ’no?!”

Napabuntong hininga na lang si Ranz kasabay ang biglaang pagtawa. “I can’t believe it, nakalimutan mo kung kailan malapit na?” I shrugged tiredly . . . I mean— Oo nga naman kasi ba’t ngayon ko lang naalala!

Bago pa ako nakapag-paliwanag ay sumulpot si Stephanie at Jamie hawak-hawak ang kanilang mga camera na parang naka-video? “Kung kailan kinikilig na kami eh . . . sino ba ’yong sumira ng moment niyo?” Hinablot niya ang hawak-hawak kong cellphone at agad na nahiya. “Ay, si ma’am pala.”

“So, what happened?” Jamie asked with one of his eyebrows up.

“Sa Monday na raw ’yong final show para sa pageant natin— ikaw ba’t hindi mo alam?” tugon nito na may halong pagtataka.

“You know, eliminated na ako. Hindi ka informed?” Paglilinaw nito pero mas maguluhan lang talaga ako.

Patuloy kaming nag-lakad kahit na walang pinatutunguhan. “Eh, bakit siya eliminated, ako hindi?”

“Kasi nga ikaw nakapasa, siya hindi,” sagot ni Steph pero . . .

Hindi ako naka-imik at patuloy na lang na naglakad pero patuloy akong tinititigan ng tatlo na lalong napag-hahalataan na wala talaga akong alam.

After a while, Ranz finally gave up and sighed. “Do you remember the question and answer?” I simply nodded as an answer. “You won that, and dahil doon, nakapasok ka sa finals. Since hindi nakapasa si Jamie, then hindi siya kasama sa finals . . . now, gets mo?” Ah . . . ’yon pala ’yon.

Habang pinipilit ng dalawa na pigilan ang kanilang pag-tawa ay nakalabas na rin pala kami sa mall nang maalala namin kung bakit kami pumunta roon. “Ba’t nga pala tayo pumunta sa mall?”

We looked at each other as I look up, gabi na rin pala, I sighed, “Bukas na lang? Pero saan tayo makakahanap ng Filipiniana?”

“Don’t you have any cousins that has one? Baka p’wede mo naman muna hiramin, I mean isang araw lang naman, diba?”
Someone suddenly popped into my mind, I immediately grabbed my phone, and dialed my cousin from the neighboring city, a spark of delight shined upon my face as I see her answer. “Hello? ’Insan.”

“Uy! Akira, how are you!? It’s been a while isn’t it?” Ang masiglang pagbati niya’y sapat na para mapagaan ang loob ng isang tulad ko.

“Hello po, Tita Kath . . . I’m okay naman po, ikaw po ba? I hope you’re doing good.” Tugon ko rito, nakahihiya naman!

Those three kept close to me trying to listen to our conversation, I shushed them as Tita Kath starts to speak. “Okay naman, sabog lang siguro! Nakaka-stress! Pero okay naman, why did you call me ’Insan? Have any problems? You Tita’s got your back, you know!”

I cleared my throat. “Ah, Tita? Kailangan ko po kasi ng Filipiniana, I was hoping na meron kayo . . . ah, eh, kailangan ko po kasi sa Monday,” pa-utal-utal kong paliwanag.
Nagulat na lang ako nang marinig ko siyang humahalikgik. “No need to be shy Akira, uhm . . . I think? I have some Filipiniana here, I’ll send it as soon as I find! Gotta go, malapit na mag-start ang photoshoot, nice talking to you Akira!”

I was able to hang up with a sigh of relief. “Now that, that’s settled, let’s go buy— oh, gabi na nga pala.” Napatingala ako, at muli na namang namangha sa kung gaano kaganda ng mga bituin sa langit.

“Tomorrow na lang ulit, kahit ako hindi ko alam kung ano ba ginawa natin sa mall ngayon . . .” Napatingin si Ranz sa dalawang pang-asar. “Ewan ko sa inyo, ah,” panunumbat pa niya.

“Oo na lang . . . para namang wala talaga kaming nakita.” Stephanie wrapped her hand on my shoulders, looked at me when she suddenly winked.

I felt bashful all of a sudden, I tried scratching my head nang maalala ko kalbo na nga pala ako, napa-buntong hininga na lang talaga ako, patuloy sa paglalakad. “Kailan kaya ako masasanay?” bulong ko sa sarili ko habang pinag-mamasdan ang mga taong nasa harapan ko.

Ano kayang ini-isip nila? Ano kayang tingin nila sa akin— “Ano na naman ’yang pinag-iisip mo at lutang ka na naman,” paghihimutok ni Jamie habang tumatawa si Stephanie.

“Hindi ka pa ba nasanay d’yan, Akira kung may award lang sa pag-o-overthink, sa ’yong sa ’yo na ang korona!” I stifled a laughter as the four of us walk home.

Matapos ang ilang hakbang ay humiwalay na ng daan si Jamie, habang si Stephanie ay nasa pagitan namin ni Ranz.

Out of a sudden she looked at me with a slight smile. “Masaya ka ba friend? Kanina ko pa na gustong itanong . . . kasi to be honest, that’s what matters the most, kung ano ang nararamdaman mo, hindi na importante kung anong nararamdaman ng iba sayo, ikaw lang . . . sapat na, hindi ba?”

“Ako, tuwing iniisip ko kung ano ’yong dati ako . . . para bang sobrang layo na ko na, siguro . . . dati lahat na ginawa ko, matanggap lang ako, pero life shows you what’s real, hindi lahat tatanggapin ka,” I muttered loud enough for them to hear.

“I do. Sarili mo ’yan eh, you’re the one in control, kung anong iniisip mo, kung anong gagawin mo . . . we are the decision makers of our own, nasa sa’yo pa rin talaga sa dulo eh, kaya kung gusto mo na maging masaya . . . nasa sarili mo lang ’yon.” I breathe out looking at them.

“Deep . . .” She suddenly looked at Ranz wearing that creepy smile. “Hey, do you still like this . . . new Akira,” she whispered loudly making sure I heard it.

Ranz stopped and flicked Stephanie’s ear. “I’ll accept her whatever, kahit ano pang side ang makita ko, we are the decision makers of our own she said, it’s my choice, and let me tell you right now . . . that I love her, for who is was, for who will be, and for she is now.” He glanced at me but caught him as he smiles at me.

“Ikaw naman kasi, eh! Puro ka kilig wala ka namang jowa—” Bago pa matapos sa sasabihin niya ay pinutol ito ni Stephanie na bigla-biglang humalakhak.

“Bakit? Ikaw ba meron?” Pangmamata niya bakas ang pang-aasar sa mukha nito.
Hindi na umimik si Ranz at tumingin na lang sa akin, para bang gusto niya na . . . ako ang sumagot. I ran as fast as I can, distancing myself from them, then as loud as I can. “ . . . soon?”

Immediately I sprinted my way home, but I promise when I took that last glance . . . the smile on his face was priceless, did my heart beat faster because I ran or . . . nevermind!

The day ended there . . . even though there’s a part of me thay wanted to stop time, the show must go on.

And the very next day, we came back to the mall. Ranz and I were just . . . awkward with each other, ba’t ko pa kasi sinabi ’yon! Jamie being clueless while Stephanie smiling widely the whole time.

Our shopping spree ended, the moon and stars were there as our lights. “Tara na’t umuwi matapos mamili!” sigaw ni Stephanie, at least nawala na ang ngiting nakatatakot na ’yon, matapos ba naman siyang man-libre?

With our hands full, pagod kaming umuwi sa bahay, it’s already past nine!?

But then, as soon as I open the door, we were greeted by my mother’s troubled smile. “What should we do, Akira?”

END