LOVELESS

Chapter 51

MOMENTS LATER

Yemi gently wipes Sam's tears away while still sitting on his lap.

"I hate that you saw me crying like a fuckin' baby."

She sucks her teeth. "Stop. You were not crying like a baby. It's okay to let your feelings out, Sam." She pecks his lips softly. "Can I share something with you?"

"Of course."

"It's about my mom."

"If you're thinking about telling me what happened to her because you think it might help, do it because you're ready to share it. Not because you feel obligated."

She cups his face and looks deeply into his eyes. "I love you, and I'm okay with opening up to you about it."

He squints at her and then nods approvingly. She puts her hands over his muscular arms, and looks at them while fidgeting on his skin.

"... My mother was murdered during a night out with her cousins. But before she died, she was in a coma for a couple days. I didn't know she was in a coma, because I was out of town with my boyfriend at the time, and no one called to tell me. When I got back home, I called my mom to see where she was, and Briana answered the phone asking me why I wasn't at the hospital. By the time I got there... she was pronounced dead."

Sam is staring at her sympathetically as she takes a brief moment to collect her thoughts. She finally looks back into his eyes.

"Anyway, umm... I'm telling you this because... I understand why you would be upset at your parents for not telling you about your mom's health. I am very upset with my relatives, for one, not telling me she was in the hospital because of their own selfish reasons... and two, for them knowing who the murderer is, but lying to this day that they don't know."

Yemi starts to choke up. "Every morning I wake up angry that my mother was literally taken from me. She and I were very close. I think if I would've been there to talk to her while she was in a coma that could've helped her wake up. Then on top of that, my boyfriend told me that my emotions were too much for him to handle, so he disappeared."

She shakes her head at the memory. "The two friends I had... they disappeared, too. It hurt me at first, but I can't continue being mad over that. I know that being upset at all of those things are okay, but staying in that bad space isn't. It's self-poisoning, and I know that sounds cliché but it's true. I have to redirect my thoughts to positivity every morning, because if I don't, I would end up at my relatives house and then I'd be in prison. I know my mother wouldn't want that for me."

"Damn. I'm sorry all that shit happened."

"I am, too. But I refuse to let any of those people have power over my mental. And you shouldn't let anyone have power over you either. It's not benefiting you to be down here when, at any moment, your mother can leave this earth. Yes, they should have told you, but are you going to let that stop you from spending as much time as you can with your mother before it's too late?"

Sam furrows his eyebrows as he contemplates her words.

"I know if I had the chance to speak to my mother while she was still breathing, I would have. No matter how upset I was at anyone, I would've still taken that time to talk to her and then deal with the problems later. At that moment, the last memory with my mother was the priority. But I didn't get that. Sam, you get that opportunity, and I need you to understand how important that is."

"... I do," he tells her, genuinely understanding her point of view. "I get it."

She takes a deep breath. "So what's next? What do you wanna do?"